My upcoming birth results in a lot of life-and-death thoughts at the moment. I work in an area where I use the statistic "800 women die from pregnancy and child-birth EVERY DAY" very regularly, and although I live in Berlin, I'm aware that giving birth is not without risks, anywhere. It's probably much less risky than crossing the street, but as these risk ratings go, we always tend to overestimate risks from non-standard events - and giving birth is something we don't do a hundred times a day.
I not only think about what life for my family would mean without me, but am also much more conscious that my family members live lives that can involve accidents, diseases or even death - at any time. It's simply a thought that is often there for many parents, and very much on the surface in these late stages of pregnancy. It's probably linked to an evolutionary instinct to want to survive, and for women, wanting our children to survive as well.
Giving birth soon has also put many of my friendships in perspective. I am so very grateful for every one of my friends, even if our lives (building careers and having children left and right) currently means that we lack time and energy to be in as much active contact as we'd like to.
I am very grateful for all I have, and all I have had. I often complain, want to have more, want to do things differently, expect others to behave and act differently - but at the end of the day, during this phase directly before birth, it all doesn't matter. We're here and we're blessed to be here, and most of us are so blessed to live healthy, secure, peaceful lives.
Gratitude.
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