Hope to return healthy

I'm leaving to Zambia for 12 days next Tuesday, and leaving my family behind, as this is a work trip. I've had some anxious moments about leaving especially my youngest (2.5) behind for such a long time, but have also had some sleepless nights about whether I myself will be safe and stay healthy. And of course also, whether I can do a good job as a novice in Africa. I'm providing the policy inputs during our trip, for a delegation of 18 people. I have a long flight to read up and hopefully be a few steps ahead... But most importantly, I hope I - as a mom of three lovelies - return home safely to them. Is it worth the risk going? I think so. This - work - is such a big part of my life, and the opportunity to see things in practice may not arise again soon. Wish me luck, and I hope that after my trip, and a week of vacation with the kids, I'll be back to report. Perhaps I'll find a moment to write while there. Enjoy July!

Stressed, anyone?

My colleauges at work are trying to pull off two big events this week, and many of them are quite stressed. I sit there, but work for a different team, so I occasionally help out, but usually do different work. I've been asked to support a bit too much - and silly tasks - this week, so things have been rather tense at times. In the evenings, I've been trying to de-escalate some freako parent reps who try to sow chaos in our school by spreading rumors and making mountains (poisonous ones) out of molehills. At least family and friends are staying sane, right? Well, no. My son came home today with a bite, by another kid... and it's getting slightly infected, and he's getting temperature. I work in health and read too much about things like rabies... Plus my husband is travelling, I for the first time forgot my phone at work, and cannot reach our babysitter - and am supposed to moderate a 7-hour workshop for 30 people tomorrow. Stressed? Not really, except about the poor little thumb and boy. As long as he's ok, who cares about all the other freakos this week.

Take that back from yesterday - uff

Oh well, sometimes things don't go as one plans. My amazing restful day turned out to be one pile of unmotivating events after another. Turf wars galore on multiple fronts. And if there's one thing that drains me quicker than bratty kids, it's bratty adults. Uff! No fun.

Need A Rest - Thank heavens for work...

We've had a couple of very full weekends the past month, and with various birthday, end of year etc parties, it isn't calming down for a while. Sunday evenings I'm ready to collapse, and I wish I could just sleep for two days. But the best rest, in practice, as crazy as it sounds, is to sit at my office desk Monday morning with my coffee... And when people ask where I'm going on vacation, I answer that I have two weeks with the kids - but my real vacation is a work trip of 12 days to Zambia. Being a health "expert", I have become slightly paranoid about the diseases I work on, and which are rampant in the country and not easy to prevent, especially as we're visiting clinics and community health centers in rural areas. But aside from various risks, I am sure that it will be an eye-opening, breathtaking (and perhaps tear-shedding) trip for me. But before that starts in 10 days, thank heavens for Monday morning tomorrow...

Obama in Berlin - part 2

In 2008, Obama spoke in Berlin, and drew a crowd of hundreds of thousands - as presidential candidate. Today, as President, he spoke again, 50 years after JFK stated, in isolated Western Berlin: Ich bin ein Berliner. Obama quoted JFK quite extensively from then, and placed an emphasis on our common responsibility to look beyond our own problems and comforts. The main theme was acting against complacency, and taking history into our own hands. Berlin has been in Obama-euphoria today again, and rightly so.

Kids vs Friends

My friends are absolutely lovely. And so are my kids. But the combination of friends and small kids is not always the optimal for friendships. Kids are needy. They are loud. They can be bratty. (They can be cute as well). Most of my friends like my kids, I'm very lucky about that. But I am also not naive about what the reality with us 2 adults and 3 small kids is like, especially if confined to a small place. Kids are messy, they spill things, they interrupt conversations - no matter how well-behaved. I notice that I've increasingly resorted to leaving the kids with my husband when I meet a friend for coffee (one without or with kids), as I can finish more than two sentences in half an hour. I fully understand that for friends with small flats, and especially ones that place high value on tideness, inviting us 5 may mean just one other guest can fit in an addition. Coming over to our place is sometimes like entering a zoo. I'm lucky with my friends. I'm grateful I dont need to choose friends or kids, but I have to admit it is pure luxury to at times separate my kids and my friends. The funny part is, I think every parent finds their own kids more disrupting than other's kids. I absolutely adore my friends' kids. They are adorable, I get so unhappy that I cannot see many of them that often. So maybe my crazy zoo is only bothersome for one person at these times: me....

Reunited - with friends - and cake

I'm very picky with my cake. It may be because I spent a lot of my childhood in Vienna. I always have something to criticize with cake I get in Berlin. Too creamy, too dry, nearly always too big. I spent the last weekend in Vienna, and confess that as I was without the kids, I moved from one cafe to the next. It was pure bliss and sunshine. The cake was amazing. As were the sunny views of beautiful buildings. The melange coffee, pure perfection. And best of all, as I was in town for a school reunion, I had friends whom I could just relax with. Whom I trust so fully. With whom I now share nearly thirty years of my life. As with the cake, revisiting these friendships, especially in such a beautiful setting, was someing extremely valuable. Gratitude.

Looks and comments

Three things seem to have triggered a wave of comments - thankfully complements - from people who have seen me more frequently the past year. 1) My hair is longer. The sad part is I enjoy it short. But people seem to like it long, as does my wallet, so oh well. 2) I wear make-up to work. When I don't, I get asked whether I'm sick or tired. Sad as it is, I've noticed that make-up after 30 appears to be a must. My female colleagues the same age show similiar affects. With looks healthy, without we look gray and exhausted. I never wear any on a "normal" homey day. What a sad must. I never used to understand why my mom didn't leave the house without make-up...now I do. 3) I don't wear my old jeans and alternate between three t-shirts. I even wear tiny heels. Could I have imagined this when my main route was playground sand to washing machine to the grocery store across the street? All this in combo: thanks to work. Funny, right? You'd think the mom at home has so much time to make an effort. Some do. I never saw the point...

Are you political?

We discussed this question at a university alumni meeting earlier today. Is our work political? Are we allowed to be political at work? Is it possible not to be? What about in our private lives?

As those who know my blogs subtitle know, I believe that we, as active beings in society, are inherently political. Sure, some more than others, and some people's politics affects more people than others'. Being political does not only being a politician and being part of a political party - so take a minute to think about how political you are. And maybe you would like to be more vocal about your politics? There's so much to do, so much to change, so much to improve in this world.

But why you? Why try to affect things that cannot be changed, or are too complex? Because they can be changed, because they change because WE change them.

Take a speaker as an example who spoke to our alumni group today. A former Israeli ambassador, who gave a brilliant overview of the situation in the Middle East, and in particular the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. It's a conflict I've followed with interest and hopeless apathy in turn. So awful - and so hopeless. But the speaker made such a great speech, could give such a clear take on the different problems, and most importantly - how these could be overcome. As political as can be - but just the act of sharing his views with us was a political act. And intently listening and thinking? Something political is triggered by that as well - although on this, I am not "active" politically, although I do have a strong opinion on the conflict. Do you?

(I'm skipping parts of our reunion program before heading to dinner - enjoying catching up with some Lana del Ray, Florence and the Machine and Adele and random doodling around - was inspired after watching the movie Gatsby yesterday!).