Feminist Capitalists?

I asked my husband to guest post tonight, because he recommended I read a "great" article from yesterday's FAS (Sunday Frankfurter Allgemeine, a German Sunday edition of a rather serious daily national newspaper), which I didnt find that interesting. It was on how capitalism has created a new modern feminist: careerists. (He didnt want to write about it, so I will.) These "feminists" argue that women who have children are moving a step backwards, giving up their financial independence and opportunity for self-fulfillment. I didnt understand what was novel about this argument, but my husband claimed that men these days only come across such "feminists". I guess a la German Family Minister Schroeder, whom I wrote about a while back. "Feminism" defined as "anti-stay-at-home-motherhood". I responded by saying that he's obviously surrounded by careerist women at work, and few female politicians who are high enough to make public statements on women other than Ursula von Leyen (Germany's Employment Minister, mother of six or seven) even have children. Is this not just an extreme version of my own argument: don't say at home for too long, or forget that there are other important issues in the world to talk about and act upon? It's just the black view ("no kids!") vs. the white view ("nothing but kids!"), whereas to me it makes perfect sense that one can aspire to the gray ("kids and career...in that order of priority, but in some sort of fulfilling balance!"). These extreme positions again made it clear to me how difficult it is to define feminism. How in the world are women ever to improve their position if there is so much battle between these extreme and mutually exclusive views (and policies that follow from these)?

Berlin at its Best

We have been experiencing a heat wave in Berlin this weekend. In combination with the Berlin Gallery Weekend (we live in the middle of a gallery area) and my husband back in town, I have taken advantage of the situation and spent a few lovely warm evenings strolling the streets, dropping into galleries, and drinking a bit of white wine in company of friends. Right now, it feels good to just be - and not to think too much. I'm letting myself be inspired by what is happening outside, and enjoying this city at its best. I took the girls to the Philharmonic yesterday, and had a good laugh when my younger daughter started singing along to Vivaldi's Spring when it started. Hence a very short post this weekend. Gratitude.

Incentives: How Policies Influence Decisions

I often choose the title to my posts before I write the main text, and dont give them much thought (as is the case for the main texts as well...I just write whatever comes to mind at the spur of a moment). In my dream life, I would employ a texter from the Economist for my blog, as they often have humorous and very witty titles for their stories. This dry title reflects a dry topic I wanted to discuss, which is tax incentives. I'll start with something more interesting though, which is yesterday's "Girls and Boys' Day", which is an annual event in German schools that brings school girls to see "male" jobs, such as the police or an IT plant, and more recently also boys to look at "female" jobs, such as kindergarten teaching. My instinct on this, and here my childrens' female kindergarten teaachers agreed with me, was that such a program is well-intended, but may actually be counterproductive, as it reinforces gender identities and roles, and after a "look at the other", one returns to something "normal". I thought of a parallel to restaurants. Most Berliners love going out to eat Thai. Only few will cook it at home after a visit to a Thai restaurant, because a trip to the restaurant reinforces the view that Thai food is very different from German cuisine, and learning to shop and cook similiar meals would require quite an effort. There are of course a few exceptions - some Berliners may be inspired to buy a cookbook, take classes, shop at an Asian store for ingredients... I feel like a "Girls/Boys Day" does the same: it may show you the "other" (and reinforce your feeling of difference), it may awaken more understanding and resoect, but it will in most cases not be sufficient for changing your identity or what you are used to doing "normally". This made me think about policy incentives in general, and my feeling that tax policies may be one of the most important drivers or inhibitors to get women (in particular married ones, or those who are treated equivalently in tax law) to work. Child care is, as I have written just recently, an even more important aspect. Just a few thoughts on this topic: In Germany, married women are disencouraged to work, as a married couple may choose a common tax category (there are 5 such categories, if I recall correctly). Once one partner earns slightly more than the other, it makes fiancial sense for the couple to choose a category that taxes the high earner with a lower rate, and the lesser earner with a higher rate. As the lesser earner is usually the woman, her earnings are taxed at a relatively high rate (usually more than 50 percent). At some point, it soes not make financial sense for the woman to work. As a mom, the balance sheet of working vs. getting other errands done with less stress often provides a disincetive to work. This is definitely a vastly complex topic, and affects a lot of other areas, but at least from an perspective of making it easy for women or moms to work, I find this policy abhorrent.

Ideas, Words, and Action

Last night, I went to a rather formal event held by my former university. Among other, Germany's former President, Horst Köhler, spoke about the importance of our university, and more broadly about our current times and leadership requirements. The speeches were great, the musical accompaniment by a small group from the Berlin Philharmonics was lovely, and the bubbly afterwards in good company was enjoyable. In other words, I had a "serious" but very nice night out.

Afterwards, and also while I was listening to the speeches, I thought about leadership. Not necessary leading others, but leading with new ideas and new solutions. I thought about many discussions I have had with intelligent, energetic people - who are not able to implement their thoughts in practice. What a loss to society not to be able to have some of these potential programs or projects put into operation. And a step backwards: not even to know about these thoughts or ideas.

We are so often taught to think, be analytical, and come up with great ideas. But are we ever taught to implement these, or even make these public?

These thoughts were triggered by a quote that former President Köhler read out, by Alfred Herrhausen, who was head of the Deutsche Bank a long time back, and later became an important philanthropist (there is still a prestigious German foundation carrying his name):

„Wir müssen das, was wir denken, auch sagen. Wir müssen das, was wir sagen, auch tun. Und wir müssen das, was wir tun, dann auch sein.“
Alfred Herrhausen (1930-89), dt. Bankier, Vorstandsspr. Dt. Bank 


Freely translated: "We must say what we think. We do what we say. And we must be what we do."

I hope that one day, I will be able to say that I not only thought and analyzed, but also spoke out (publicly) - and, last but not least, put these thoughts and words into practice.

Small Thoughts on Small Important Things

As you may have noticed, I have done a fair share of naval grazing in the past days. It's due to one simple fact: I'm at home alone with the kids. This means that I simply haven't had the time or energy to read articles that interest me.

Yesterday, for example, my day started at 5.30 am. My youngest decided to wake everyone up. As my youngest only naps for one hour during the day, the day felt pretty long - all three kids go to bed at around 8 pm. On such days, I'm happy if I manage to take care of emails after the kids are in bed. And I'm surprised that I don't fall asleep on the sofa more often.

Besides, yesterday I received news from across the Atlantic that is better than any exciting headline or comprehensively argued article. With my eyes barely open from exhaustion, I cried from joy to hear that my oldest, most wonderful friend has had her first child, and that both mother and baby are well.

What can possibly be more important and newsworthy?

Single Parenting

This is a subject that I, thankfully, have close to zero experience on. I say thankfully, because, based on the occasional days and nights I spend alone with my three kids, I cannot think of many much more strenuous experiences. Sure, I have never worked as a 120-hour per week consultant, nor have I had to travel non-stop for work across different time zones. But many of you may understand what I mean when I say that work is like a vacation compared to being with the kids all the time. At work, you can at least, for five minutes, go to the bathroom on your own to have a breather. You may be lucky and be able to do this at your desk. You may even have a pretty relaxing lunch break occasionally. With small kids (age 3 or below), you cannot do any of the above. You are in action and responsible every waking second - and in my case these seconds begin at 6 am at the moment, 7 days a week, 366 days this year. Physical and mental exhaustion from full-time parenting is one reason why I am such an advocate of work (I have always found it difficult to have child care just for the sake of taking a break, although I have taken this necessary luxury with my third. Note: necessary. I seriously think I would collapse without this time around.) Many of my friends with small kids have much more difficult circumstances than I do. Husbands (note: always the husbands...) away for long work trips, working in a different city or country, or sadly gone for good. I cannot but be filled with wonder how they manage. I guess everyone just muddles through. As in every challenging situation, one finds a surprising amount of strength in oneself. One is forced to rely on others. And (I hope), one finds ways to take breathers where parenting couples would not think of looking. Others can write much more about this topic. This is just my little public praise for all those single parents out there. And my mini-pat on my own shoulder during yet another few days (and nights, as other parents will know) where I'm on my own with the kids.

Sew Your Own Damned Button On!

After yesterday's post advocating a more laissez-faire approach to "gender parenting", I was having second doubts.

Can girly princesses really have the same broad opportunities and skills in later life than girls do that have been encouraged to be more "gender neutral", or open to "male" interests and tasks? And vice versa, can men be expected to partake in a fair half of "female" tasks later on in life, if they have not been exposed to these early on in life?

As I mentioned, my own father encouraged me also to be good at "male" subjects, such as mathematics or electrical engineering (I was obsessed with building "robots" with blinking light-bulb eyes at some point as a kid). He also included me in DIY projects as home, including changing the light-bulb, hammering together IKEA-furniture, and putting up wallpaper. I can do all the latter better than my husband, who is - a public disgrace here - absolutely appalling at any DIY.

When I went to school in Finland (between the ages of 9 and 15), I took sewing classes for several years. We had to choose between sewing or wood-works. Most girls chose sewing, but a few also did wood-works. (All of us had to take cooking classes, which included lessons in cleaning and hand washing woolly sweaters.) For half a year, though, we had to switch classes, i.e. most boys learned some basic sewing, and we learned how to hammer, saw, drill, etc.

Can men (including my husband) who have never been bought to sew on a button or wash delicate laundry be expected to do so later on in life? Can women who have no idea about electric cables or drilling be expected to change a light bulb or drill a hole in the wall? I think the obvious answer is yes - these are pretty moronic tasks. We do, however, tend to fall into distributing household tasks according to what one already knows. I haven't ever taught my husband to mend clothes (and he can forget about building any IKEA furniture).

Taking this a step further, can women be expected to become e.g. engineers if they have always been supported in choosing subjects that their peers choose ("soft sciences"), or what they instinctively feel they are interested in (an issue difficult to prove - do we have intrinsic, non-socialized interests?). A forced "other role" exposing, such as the one above with sewing-wood-works, may be an eye-opener, but I'm sure it doesn't make much of a difference in providing "skills" to the other sex that would be of much use later on, if the rest of one's schooling is spent on what is "female"/"male".

I find my views here to be extremely clear on the "basic" issues (Husband, start sewing your own damned buttons on!), but very confused on the more "complicated" issues (Daughters, I doubt I want to force you to take only physics and maths later on, even if you are dying to take literature and theatre...).  

Roaring Princesses, Sweet Pirates?

Finnish language (I come from Finland) is gender neutral. We don't have gender cases (as the French do with "la" and "le"), nor is there a gendered "she" and "he" - we talk of a human "it" when we refer to a third person.

My Finnish friends would have to write about the position of gender in upbringing in Finland, because I haven't lived there that long. I find it difficult to infer generalities about this from my own upbringing, because I think a combination of individual and environmental factors have influenced my parents - including their reactions to partly bringing me up in a foreign country.

What I can say about my own upbringing is that I am grateful to my parents for being relatively tolerant. My father always encouraged me to do well, also in "male" domains that I was interested in. My mother, definitely a fan of the feminine (dresses, make up and all) never discouraged me from being girly. I have, I think for this reason, never so far felt that uncomfortable with my gender.

There's a lot of debate on whether girls should be "nudged" towards more "male" games, toys, school subjects, jobs, etc, in order to improve their economic chances and broaden their opportunities in life. There's less noise on whether boys should not play with dolls etc, although there is much news on how men should participate in "female" household tasks, including childcare.

To be honest, I find these debates very confusing. On the one hand, I find most "guidelines" on how to bring up your children ("encourage boys to play with dolls and try dresses", "do not buy Barbies or pink dresses for your daughters") simplistic, ineffective, and potentially very confusing for the kids. On the other hand, I think that the factors that most influence how gender roles develop are role models, peers, and what these two groups keep hammering into children's heads.

In practice, I don't spend too much time thinking about the "gender parenting" of my own kids. Maybe I should be swimming against the tide more, forcing my little princesses (my two older girls) to be more like my roaring pirate (my youngest), and vice versa. But gut feeling tells me that effecting a "change" in gender roles does not start with how you parent your kids. It starts with yourself.

Booooring

Honestly, if I were not writing this blog, I don't think I would be reading it. Why? I've mentioned it in a previous post: the topic is so boring to read about! Just today, I had one of those rare luxury moments, alone in a cafe, with a bit of time to enjoy a good coffee and read the papers. I happened to see the Tipp, which is a Berlin weekly events magazine. The cover story was on employment quotas for women. Again all the same statistics with 23 percent less pay for women in same jobs, glass ceilings, incompatibility of work and childcare, incompatibility of careers and part-time jobs, unwillingness to have full-time childcare... I barely managed to finish the couple of pages of texts. Not because it was badly written - the journalist had conducted several interesting interviews, the argument was pretty solid, and the issue covered fairly comprehensively. But... Perhaps the position of women needs to be covered differently? Any ideas on a good medium? It's just that the more I read, the more I dispair. Women's day, Equal pay day, Put me to sleep day. Or am I the only one who finds all of these statistics and arguments somehow hollow (i.e. without real meaning)? Perhaps it is a female thing to be more moved by stories than statistics. Maybe it is just my personal preference. What would interest me more (in texts) would be personal stories that exemplify these general statistics. There's a term for such storytelling in postmodern theory, and I think it comes from feminist theory, if I recall correctly from my studies ten years back. I can't remember the exact term, but the essence is to have differnt voices narrate an issue. Mabe this blog is one little such narrative.

Feminism and Sexuality

Sexuality is a bit of a touchy subject, and I hope I will not offend anyone with this post. To make sure I am not misunderstood: I am fully in support of same-sex relationships, believe that these couples should be entitled to all the same rights as heterosexual couples are, including the right to have and bring up children.

As I have written several times, I am "new" to the feminist field. Following my post on Kristina Schröder's (Germany's family minister) book on women, I yesterday saw that an open letter had been published on a feminist website in response to the feminist-bashing in the book, and signatories included several top-level Green politicians.

I decided to take a look at a few of these feminist websites, and felt rather disappointed - and excluded. Nearly all bloggers on these sites (German and international) were lesbians, although I was happy to note that there were a few feminist men among them. (As a side note, I remembered that one of my favorite professors at the LSE, Fred Halliday, who sadly passed away last year, called himself a feminist.)

Why is it that such a large number of lesbians support feminism, or rather, heterosexual women are not as active? I understand that if the feminist agenda includes a focus on sexual rights (including same-sex conception and parenting), heterosexuals may not feel that this is on the top of their agenda. But isn't feminism much broader, including political rights, labour rights, human rights..? I definitely need to google around a bit more to see whether e.g. Hilary Clinton's Vital Voices Initiative (for women leaders) explicitly defines themselves as feminist.

p.s. "Mommy and Mama", this post is a public endorsement of your wonderful child and family, and your struggles to take this path.

When Not to Think about Work

My message in these posts so far has been slightly one-sided: Women / moms, there's an interesting world out there! Be part of it, talk about it, improve it!

However, everyone needs to do some hibernating and naval grazing (or baby gazing) sometimes. There are times in life where one needs to self-reflect, where one needs to rest, and where one needs to concentrate on a narrower range of issues. Such times include the late stages of pregnancy, and the first months (or even year) after childbirth. During these times, a woman is simply too tired or drained to do much else (the negative side), and is hormonally programmed to focus on what is at that point important (the baby, the positive side).

My message has been directed not to those moms who have recently given birth or who are breastfeeding - like I wrote in a previous post, I am not a fan of the "French" model of going back to full-time work 8 weeks after giving birth. But I am writing about those who are in a stage where it's time to let go (a bit, at least). This includes some people in the circle of people I interact with due to my older kids (4 and 5 years).

One problem, in Germany at least, is that moms stay at home for such a long time that they cannot rejoin the job market with ease later on. They may legally be entitled to, three years after (mostly unpaid) leave, or five in the case of twins, but add second or third siblings to this, and the lack of an active job network and up-to-date skills, and things get very difficult.

To sum up: I think there are stages in life where one shouldn't think of work, where one should fully enjoy a respite, a period of reflection, or a wonderful new person in the world. My worry is that many people seem to get stuck in this phase, and not only lose their opportunity to rejoin the workforce, but also lose their interest in questions of broader society (political, economic, global, etc.). I think that all of us, including women and especially moms, have an obligation and responsibility to think about what is happening in the world, and to try to make it a better place - way beyond making sure that one's child's room is decorated perfectly.

I am not a Feminist!

In the past days, I have been surprised to find articles on "feminism" on the (online) cover pages of the FT and Spiegel (a German weekly).

The FT ran two interviews, one with the CEO of Vogue UK and another one with a scriptwriter. I usually wouldn't have read the articles, but the word "feminism" pounced out at me in the titles. The interviews themselves weren't hugely interesting, but they both contained several passages on "why I am not a feminist, and why feminism is not relevant for this interview" - in response to the journalist's questions on "working females - must-have-views-on-feminism".

Another article reviewed Kristina Schröder's new book, which is on women. She is Germany's young family minister, who, as the reporter well put it, was hugely criticized for being appointed at first because she didn't have children, then later to be criticized because she just recently had a baby. Apparently, her book is an explicit rant against feminism, and how feminists actually undermine the position of women, because they place women in the role of a "victim".

As several of you have outed yourself as experts on feminist theory, and I know that some of you are "feminists", I would be interested in some lines (or more) of feedback on whether women who do not just paint their nails and curl their hair (etc.) are feminists (whether they want it or not).

p.s. I never considered myself a feminist, but after thinking about it more now, I think I am. I'll try to come up with some definition eventually.

p.p.s. The World Bank's President was chosen by the Board yesterday. Not surprisingly, the Korean-born, now US citizen, Jim Kim, who was nominated by Obama, was chosen. One of my first posts was on this topic ("Should a woman win?"). I think it was a pretty decent choice, although it was clearly based on the informal rule that the Bank's President is always American. I am certain that developed countries had agreed to this already when Lagarde, France's former Finance Minister (I should write about her, she is so cool!) replaced Strauss Kahn as IMF's head.
    

Little Bugs

It's time to write about the second-most discussed parenting issue (after sleep, or lack thereof): illnesses.

Every parent discovers this wonderful universe of bugs, at the latest when the first child starts daycare, or for siblings, from day one onwards. The first year of bugs can be tough - both on the child, as well as on the parents, who usually constantly get ill as well.

Mild illnesses pose one big practical problem for a working parent: what to do with work? Imagine returning to work after a maternity leave, and then having to drop out for a week every month, because your child has an ear infection, bronchitis, fever, lice, diarrhea, an eye infection... Add the usual doctor's check-ups and jabs that you need to get in the first year, as well as any additional tests that may need to be done (e.g. sight, hearing), and multiply that by the number of children you have...

We've been incredibly lucky so far with illnesses in two respects: we haven't really had any serious ones, and one of us has been flexible with work. We've rarely been ill ourselves. But I have many friends where both parents work, and where a child has been hospitalized for weeks on end, with another sibling at home to take care of.

There are only so many sick days that you can take "for" your child here in Germany, and the rest has to go from vacation days. And an employer may not jump from joy when this vacation comes unannounced, at the worst business time.

Grandparents are a savior in such situations, and babysitters may be able to help for mild issues. But most parents just muddle through. It's tough when you're mildly ill yourself, have to take care of at least one or more energetic siblings while one is bed-ridden, and there's shopping to do, and other errands to run.

Knock on wood that we all keep experiencing only these mild illnesses (and do not have to face anything serious), and that our employers (and colleagues!) have enough understanding during these trying periods.

The Role a Man Should Play

I should ask my husband to guest post his views for this topic, but I'll start off with my views - and a lot of praise.

As many of you know, I have the best husband in the world.

I am sitting at home, hibernating from some serious birch pollen counts, and he has packed up all three kids and gone off for a day trip to a lake. With kids that are 5, 4 and 1 years old, and without a car, this is no small task. And he does this frequently.

I of course manage this situation (more or less sane and exhausted) every afternoon, and also mornings before daycare and evenings whenever my husband has to travel for work (1-2 days a week). But I don't take it for granted that after a very strenuous week at work, he still makes sure that I have space and time to relax. We often meet moms at the playground on weekends who have spent the entire week with their kids, who tell us that their husbands need to rest...

The bigger picture is that we try, and I think have so far managed, to balance our roles well. (Honestly, I think I do much less at the moment, on all fronts.) We have so far alternated with our careers, which in practice means that every two years, one of us has shifted into a lower gear (part-time, study, etc.) in order to take care of the children and allow the other to work on a career (part-time career advancement doesn't work, in our opinion). We have only now, for the first time, reached a point where it doesn't appear to make sense (financially at least) to switch again - more on that later, though.

On a daily base, our life looks like two people juggling several balls - together. One makes breakfast while feeding the youngest, the other takes a shower and makes sure the older kids get ready. One does grocery shopping while the other plays with the kids, one cooks while the other cleans up with the kids, one plays with the kids while the other takes a 30-minute sanity rest (in bed, with the Economist!)...you get the picture.

I seriously don't know how I would manage such a juggling act alone. I can, for a few days, and frequently do whenever my husband has to travel for 2-3 days. But afterwards, it feels like I could sleep for 48 hours straight. I am in absolute awe whenever I think of single parents, or any (usually mom) parent who, for whatever reason, has to run weeks and weekends with the kids alone.

Therefore, a big public thank you to the best husband in the world, the father of my three most wonderful children, and the love of my life.

La Femme Parisienne

I take it all back! Everything that I have written in my past posts. A woman can do it all - and look amazing while doing it. Voilá: la femme Parisienne.

Mothers working full time, dine in exquisite little corner restaurants, talking about culture and politics while sipping on a glass of wine and smoking a cigarette. And they look s-t-u-n-n-i-n-g.

So, it seems to be possible to have it all: work, marriage, friends, intellect, cultured interests, dining, kids, looks. The caveat: you not only have it all - you have to do it all. And any mother of one, two, three or more knows: it does not all work in a 24-hour day. Not without a full-time nanny, personal assistant shopper, cleaner, cook, hairdresser appointments - including manicure - every three days.

My theory: the kids come short. Because the to-do-list above may work if one doesn't have a strenuous, 80-hour-a-week job. But add in quality time with kids - or even basic survival and management time with them - it can't add up.

If anyone knows otherwise - and there are a lot of Paris experts among you - let me know. I wouldn't mind a bit of that Parisian magic....

The US Election

My trip started with some unexpected toilet hugging, and a morning spent in bed. I feel much better now, and thanks to the support of grandparents, have had time to rest properly. I was reading this week's Economist, and came across the US column, Lexington, which this week is on the US election and women.

I would love to hear some views on the following quotes, in particular from my US friends, but from elsewhere as well, of course:

"In recent months newspapers have carried startling reports about Republican-governed states pushing women who seek early abortions to have a probe inserted into their vaginas, in order to provide an image of the unborn child, in the hope that the picture will change their minds."

"Might the politics of women change if more women were in politics?...Women who stand for election do just as well as their male counterparts...The problem..is that so few choose to run...Reasons..range from the psychological (women are more risk-averse, less competitive and less likely than men to believe that they are qualified) to the economic: women in America still do most of the child care and household work."

"Two women who are not running for elected office will nonetheless play a big part in the forthcoming election: Ann Romney..and Michelle Obama... It is perhaps a pity, and certainly an irony, that in an election where women's issues have become so prominent the leading female roles will go to loyal wives who are not on the ballot themselves."

The Easter Bunny Mommy

This is my last blog before a week of well-deserved Easter break. I haven't been on a trip without having to work (taking advantage of full time childcare by grandparents and my husband) since, well, since I started working again after my short maternity break. I've been a project break for a month now, but running the routines at home, and taking care of everything that doesnt fit into a working mom's schedule (dentists visits etc) doesnt quite feel like vacation, as any mother knows. My kids still believe in Easter bunny, which is sweet, but also means that the Easter bunny mommy is needed. I havent done anything close to as beautiful, delicious or creative as my own mother would do, but thankfully, I appreciate her skills, but am fully aware they need not be mine. Instead, after some egg hunt, easter fires (a tradition in Germany that is similiar to mid summer festivities up North), and a little glass of bubbly to celebrate the end of our 40-day fast (without alcohol), we are headed to Paris. Cant wait! Happy Easter!

Friendship

In the past days, I have been struggling with this blog, because it doesn't feel important. I received two rather devastating (life and death) messages from two close friends, and since then, most other matters seem rather irrelevant.

It's time to look at a bigger picture, and focus on what truly matters (to me, at least): The health and happiness of friends and family.

At the end of the day, I don't think it matters whether one's friendships are with women, men, grandmas, teenagers, or other. It's enriching to have a diverse group of friends, from different geographical regions, generations, religions, sexual orientations, etc.

So far in my entries, I have been writing as if there were two (or maybe three) sets of people in the world: men, women (and women with kids). It's of course not that clear-cut in reality. I don't in daily life look at my friends and categorize them this way.

And maybe this is one problem with my blog analysis so far. I have so far written about a very limited group of people whom I encounter: moms with kids. In reality, my relationships are far more diverse, even among this group.

This blog entry turned out to be a bit of an unintended qualifier: the world is always more complex.

Yet it's also a qualifier in the opposite direction: the important things are simple. To my friends out there, you know what I mean.

 

Why is Sex Equality so Unsexy?

As I mentioned in one of my earlier posts, I have never been that interested in feminist theory or women's rights issues. This is partly due to the selfish fact that, so far in my life, these issues haven't affected me directly. I come from a society where women are treated pretty much the same way as men are, despite some lags in earning equality and burden sharing in the household.

A friend of mine suggested I look at the World Bank's most recent World Development Report, which is its biggest annual publication. The most recent one was on "Gender".

I leafed through the summary, and despite some statistics that should shock (inequality in educational opportunities, and in particular mortality rates of unborn children, children under five, and child-bearing women), I found the rest rather uninteresting.

The only paragraph that directly speaks to me is the following, on economic opportunities:


"Unequal access to economic opportunities. Women are more likely than men to work as unpaid family laborers or in the informal sector. ...Women entrepreneurs operate in smaller firms and less profitable sectors. As a result, women every- where tend to earn less than men."

Why are women's rights in a general sense less "sexy" than e.g. health, or education? This isn't just a personal opinion. I was at the Bank when the Gender Report was being compiled, and there was a general sigh of boredom that this topic had been chosen. A consultation meeting for German-speaking experts (the Report team consults hundreds of experts around the world in preparation for the report) was one of the worst workshops I have ever attended. The Bank's Chief Economist slept through most of it, there was no focus, and rather nonacademic, unrelated anecdotal statements were made by the participants.

I don't really have an answer to this question. I'm still not sure whether I'm passionately interested in this topic, despite writing all these blog entries. Maybe it's just that gender is difficult to understand through text and in an abstract form. Show me a man who tells his wife not to work, and bosses her around to make food and wash the dishes, and I'll be fuming in no time.

An Ode to Work - What is Work?

A friend of mine commented that my blog is rather pessimistic. It probably is, and this reflects my struggles in finding a good balance between work and family (and life beyond these two aspects).

Either there's too much work, and "general life" (including own time) suffers, as family and its needs just keep going. Or there's too much "family", e.g. when kids are sick, which means that both work and general life suffer. Or there's too little work, which is great for life and family, but...

I'd like to elaborate on this "but" in this post, and why, for me, work is so important.

First, I have been "trained" to work. School, university, summer jobs, internships etc are supposed to lead to work, or not?

Second, I have been "socialized" to work for financial reasons. Through work, one becomes independent from one's parents, remains independent from one's partner, and is not (at least fully) dependent on the state.

Third, I try to believe that, through work, the world is becoming a better place. This of course to a great extent depends on what work one does, but I can think of a broad range of jobs, from the arts to development work, that qualify.

Work can, of course, be defined very broadly, especially if financial rewards are excluded. Millions of volunteers are providing invaluable services around the world, artists are creating amazing pieces of work even if they are not being purchased, etc.

Many people would argue that "parenting" is such a job. I am unsure about this. After all my schooling, training and work, can I say that I would feel comfortable calling my role as a mother work? It is hard "work" in a broad sense, but is it work in the sense I need it to be?

P.s. If anyone can find a good read on the World Bank's presidential race, place email. The FT ran an interview with Zoellick on the weekend, and has a long article today, but these are as bland as old porridge.

Being a Parent - Being a Working Parent

It is time to make another confession: There is nothing more rewarding in life than being a parent, in my view. My blog entries so far may not quite highlight this fact, but if I were to be asked what fulfills me most in life, my answer would be: my kids.

Would I complain about my kids in the same way as I have at times complained about work? That I have hit the end of a learning curve, that I can't be bothered to deal with interpersonal problems, that it all seems a bit pointless, that colleagues are working for the wrong reasons? That I would rather try something else, something more fulfilling?

I am certain that there are many parallels between work and kids. I have in one entry said that "parenting is one of the most strenuous jobs". But those of us who are parents know that, at the end of the day, working and parenting are different worlds. That's one reason why a work-life balance is essential when you have kids: they do not mix. There's a consulting term I was trying to find online which reflects that work is mixed up and flows into non-work life. I can't find it. In practice, I guess this is the 24/7 BlackBerry availability syndrome or expectation. Even without kids, I don't think this is a healthy model. 

As a working parent these days, it's difficult to ensure that work does not encroach on your family life (too much), and that you have enough quality time with your kids (or more generally your family and friends, as a matter of fact). Which working mom hasn't taken calls on the playground, or checked work email on the iPad while "playing"? Especially in the era of smart phones, drawing a line between work and free time becomes even more difficult.

Another issue I may write about later is when family (in particular kids) flow into "work time", e.g. during illnesses or due to unexpected circumstances. 

  

Success

Lucy Kellaway is a weekly columnist at the FT, and is one reason I started thinking about writing a blog on women. I have been following her column for several years now, as it quite funnily but pointedly discusses women in leadership positions and at work.

This week's column, which is unfortunately not one of her best, is on why women in leadership positions are scary. One theory she has is that only the tough women can make it to the top, compared to the more nurturing types who do not. I dont know enough women at the top to be able to judge this, and assume the same would apply to men as well (the alpha male theory). What is "the top" anyway, and is it important?

The Economist's obituary this week is on Lyn Luci, who helped build up a hospital in Congo that treated thousands of post-rape and genital mutilation patients. Now that is as "top" as one can get, in my opinion. What is salary, prestige, membership on a board, if you are working on some lethal toxins that kill thousands?

A friend of mine recently commented that most of her female friends seem to work in rather "masculine" sectors, and have less "feminine" interests. Interestingly, I am seeing an opposite trend with my friends. After studying "masculine" subjects at some pretty prestigious universtities, and competing in male-dominated jobs, many have switched tracks, joining social, educational and even handicraft sectors. Are these friends moving "down" and not to the "top"? In political quota terms, yes. In my eyes, no. Some are discovering issues that interest them more, some are slowing the work pace in preparation for child care, some are living out the "if not now, then when?".

I should find a suitable quote on "success" to end this entry. Maybe one of my inspiring friends can send me one, and I'll add it later?