Berlin Mitte Bubble

My second daughter (now 6) went to a Turkish friend's birthday party today, a couple of subway stops away from our home. We live in Berlin Mitte, previously squatted eastern Berlin, for the past five or so years (and here I openly confess), home to yuppies such as we are (nicely renovated or newly built flats, cafes and tapas and aperol, little boutiques and art galeries...not luxury villas galore, but we definitely can't complain). The party was in Berlin Wedding, which has some up and coming corners, but is still mainly inhabited by Turkish people of 1st, 2nd or 3rd generation. Decent buidlings, but instead of boutiques, Deniz' Export/Import, Döner/kebap kiosks, one sports betting club after another, and well, few yuppies. My idea to find a nice cafe during the party turned into a long trek through the area, as there simply weren't any cafes along the routes I walked. It was again eye opening for someone like me, who has lived, worked, shopped, socialized and taken care of kids mainly within a 2-mile radius. It again made me realize what a luxury (at the lower end) bubble we live in here in Mitte, despite its socially different buidlings as well, lots of graffiti etc. But at the end of the day, I can walk one minute in any direction, and get an amazing espresso, a perfect French pastry, and buy a scarf from 300 euros upward (I prefer the first two by a lifetime over the latter). Berlin has its ghettos, and it's a shame we dont manage to mix more in this city. "We" being part of this problem. Solutions or ideas on how to mix beyond taking random tourist-feeling walks outside of our bubbles - please do share.

Filling up the empty (work) space

Work not only means achievement, impact, rewards and social networks to me - it is also something that helps me structure my days. I always like having a lot to do, and am not a master in creating my own tasks. To be honest, I'm miserable at it. Give me a task and I'll be creative, meticulous, determined, and full of endurance. Tell me to just do something and I'll be bored out of my wits after two hours, and start doing things like using Post-its to dust my keyboard cracks and reading the same online newspaper's headlines every seven minutes. Achievement, impact, reward and network effect at exactly zero.

So, before I figure out my new "tasks" for 2014, I've got some place-fillers stacked up. A daily newspaper delivered. A renewed gym membership. And a huge stack of DVDs. That will get me through one or two weeks, and after that I'll have to have used the time on the treadmill, the active brainpower moments while watching movies, and the moments when I run out of news stories (and a few coffees, walks and talks later), hopefully know what direction I need to take. There are already a few applications in the works as well, but as I tend to be with these, my hopes are not overly high. It's good to know that there have been a couple of things "out there" that have interested me, though.

Oh, or the kids may just do one of their usual "let's all get sick after each other for four weeks in a row", and I can delay any own "thinking time" to later.

With these random thoughts, enjoy the last few days of 2013.

Last Day (of this phase)

Tomorrow is my last day at the office. I admit I am more sad to leave my work iPhone behind than my keys, but I will miss a few other things as well. I have been transitioning out of "we" at the office for two months now, so I don't think I will feel like I'm no longer part of a team. But I will feel like I'm no longer part of various groups, in particular some friendly faces that greeted me at the office every day (and one or two ones I certainly wont miss!), as well as my Berlin partners, whom I regularly met at meetings and events. I hope that I can remain motivated and somehow still remain involved occasionally, but for now, what comes after tomorrow is all still open. Right now, I'm just happy to have Christmas, New Years, and start with a bit of a blank slate. I hope to fill it quickly though. Wishing you all a good end to 2013, and hope that you are looking into 2014 with optimism!

Goodbyes

My last two weeks have been a series of good-bye emails and good-bye lunches and coffees. The latter of course with people whom I have sincerely enjoyed working with during the past year, the prior as a professional hand-over necessity. At times it feels sad, as I have enjoyed working with many people. And then I get regular reminders just why I decided to leave, which makes me oscilate between melancholy and anger. I'm happy and relieved as well, so you can imagine it's a bit of a rolercoaster. But all in all, this has been a positive set of good-byes. Those who can't stand me have had the decency to just remain silent, and those whom I sincerely liked have mirrored that feeling back explicitly, which means a lot to me. As Sheryl Sandberg said in her book Lean In, work isn't about being liked. But, as I would add, it sure does make life easier! My life after this year may again be a tad bit more cynical with respect to working at any institution (greetings, internal politics!), but it's also several relationships - and perhaps even friendships - richer. It's time to leave this career year behind, and move on. Thank you to all of the angels among you who have supported me in this, and also for the recent feedback. Always more than appreciated, thank you!

Pick your job as you would a partner

When I metmy husband, it was love at first (6-day) sight. We have been together (albeit at times not in the same country) for 16 years. In the first years, before we got engaged, married, had three kids and bought a flat, I asked myself every single day whether I want to be with this man, and answered yes. I'm currently - or for the past ten years - trying out the same strategy with a job. Is it love at first sight? Do I think i could be happy, and could the feeling be mutual? Am I able to see myself partnering with this "company" for most of my waking life for the next years? Is the love mutual? I'm with age becoming increasingly picky, and decreasingly desperate. I wont even start an "affair" if I can see it wont lead anywhere. I give a potential relationship a try, but if it's clear there is no future, I'm not staying just because I dont want to risk being alone. I've been so miraculously, tremendously lucky with my private life - I am a naive, romantic optimist: my true love job is out there somewhere. There to find, to find me (or maybe I just have to create it). Some"one" who values me for who I am, who gives as well as accepts to take, whose world is richer because we are together, and not going alone..... (giggle giggle, as a romantic teenager would - not an old, bitter cynic!)

December in the life of a mom of 3 - status 8 December

Packed 96 advent calendar bags (3 kids + husband's). Made German "Adventskranz". Baked Finnish gingerbread cookies. Stocked up at Ikea for wrapping paper and Swedish "Glögg". Filled 3 boots with chocolates for German "Nikolaus". Celebrated Finnish independence day. Baked for two parties of daughter's 6th birthday. Went to three brunches/coffee-cakes just today. Worked full-time. Pre-cooked meals for the week.

Coming up: preparing for actual Christmas....And loving this time of the year (except for the rainy and sleety weather!).