Hannah Arendt Continued

While baking some Apfelstrudel (recipe from the café at the Belvedere in Vienna), and enjoying my last week off (funny how I am only able to enjoy my free time when I know it comes to an end), I have continued to read a biography of Hannah Arendt. For those of you who do not know her, she was one of the great intellectuals from the 20th century, a Jewish German who fled to the US from the nazis, and wrote seminal works on totalitarianism and "the human condition".

A few reflections on Arendt's life:

On gender: The anecdote I mentioned in one of my last posts: Arendt did not want to accept certain invitations to speak publicly or receive prizes if she was the first woman to do so - she did not want to be merited as the "woman recipient", but as the "recipient". I, on the other hand, would be proud of the fact that I would be the first "woman" to break through a glass ceiling (not that I think I will, though) - I would see it as a kind of double honor (i.e. personal and as a role model / precedent).

On work: Arendt did not want to accept "permanent positions" (e.g. as a university lecturer), because she felt drained and restricted in her ability to write and travel this way. She was fortunate to be successful enough to get invitations to do and to afford such a model of "project work". Her idea was that if work (whether manual or administrative) takes up all of your time, you do not have time to "really create". I second this idea.

On being politically active: One of the reasons that I wanted to read more about Arendt is her idea that it is insufficient just to analyze - one also has to try to shape the world. It's reminds me of a Gandhi quote: "You must be the change you wish to see in the world", although Arendt seems to focus more on relationships between people, and how these relationships make society more than just the sum of individuals. My hope is that I can start doing a bit of both: practicing what I think, and having things happen not just in my head (or on my blog!).

Learn to Let Go

Once a week, I have the cleaning lady and afternoon babysitter here at the same time - an absolute luxury, and not a possibility for everyone, so I am very grateful. I would have a few years ago never accepted such "help" - I find it difficult to delegate, pay for, or not feel responsible for things. But having three small children has taught me to accept the help, and realize it is necessary. I'm bed ridden for a few days after carrying my youngest too much over the past two months, as he only now returned to kindergarden after being ill and recovering from a minor operation. Going back to fulltime work in 10 days time, I wonder whether I could still employ a personal shopper and cook? Maybe my job would need to have a slightly higher salary, and maybe I'd have to have my head completely hidden in the clouds. It's important to keep grounded. But it's also sometimes necessary to let go, and drift into these "luxuries" for the sake of one's health and sanity. (Ps Some people have a cleaner-cook-shopper-babysitter in one. It's called an exhausted stay-at-home mom or grandma. I've done the prior enough, I'm ready for the office for a while!)

Fear

I have always liked the idea that when a child is born, a mother and father are born at the same time. As those of you who are parents know, this changes you as a person in many ways. One aspect, at least for me, is that I have learned to fear things. Suddenly, with responsibility for these little beings, there is fear that something may happen to them, or to yourself as the caretaker. I am having many sleepless nights because of this at the moment (again, I have to think of my own mother...). I am worried about giving my children into the care of a "stranger" in the afternoons, when I start working in two weeks. I am worried about finding a new home for us in Brussels that will be safe for all of us, in particular in the years to come when our kids start traveling to and home from school alone. I am worried about a number of issues with my own health, which I usually wouldn't have thought about twice. I know that it is a healthy instinct to be alert, but it's important to stop spirally into anxiety. As a wise woman said last night, it's time to finally go and get a massage that I have a voucher for, and go back to yoga class. This morning this woman unfortunately realized she needs to shop, cook, go to the bank, buy some clothes for the kids...    
Ps Following the Arendt post from yesterday, read a similiar quote from yesterday - 60 years later - by Harvard President in Davos, who was introduced as "Woman President of Harvard" and retorted that she is "President of Harvard, not Woman President of Harvard".

Hannah Arendt Anecdote

Reading Alois Prinz' pretty good biography about Hannah Arendt, I came across a funny anecdote (p.170) which I will freely translate into english: In the 50s Arendt was invited to give the first lecture as a woman at Princeton. In an interview, she is annoyed at a question that implies she was invited because she is a woman. "I don't mind being called Ms Professor (German: Professorin), because I have gotten used to being a woman." She has no problem with her femininity, so Prinz, and does not understand why she should be less feminine just because she is doing something that was traditionally done by men. Hut ab, as they say here in Germany.

I Like Men - Männer - Miehet

In this blog, I write about women and gender issues, but don't that often mention men. This doesn't mean that I don't like men. As I wrote in one of my first posts, I often prefer talking to husbands over wives! Some of my best friends are male. Some of the most inspiring people in the world are men (Mandela, Desmond Tutu, or Gandhi). I'm married to one of the most amazing people in the world, and he's male. I love so many men that my best female friends have chosen to marry. The point: I don't have anything against men per se.

A woman at a party that I went to yesterday said that she's only now becoming interested in women's rights. I retorted that it's because she's pregnant with her first child, but after further discussion, we realized that it's first and foremost the realization that in our careers, in our mid-30s, we are for the first time in our lives hitting glass ceilings (I think one hits these ceilings far earlier, or from the start, in many developing countries). Another friend of mine recently sent me some interesting data on income discrepancy between women with children and without.

A third factor that comes into play is, I believe, something that a man at the party added, and an issue that my husband often talks about when discussing his female colleagues: they are often too complacent. This is the argument that Facebook's Sandberg often uses: it's up to women to push for leadership positions and higher salaries. A "just do it"-mentality instead of "someone else has to do it".

I just signed a contract with the lowest salary I have ever earned. In fear that with my three kids, I can't bargain for more at the moment. Realistically, I don't think I would have been considered for the position that had been budgeted beforehand if I would have gone in with my normal "ask". Sure, it's an "investment" into returning into the game, into the network, and a price for doing a job that I really want to do.

As a woman, with children, facing the competition of (childless) men (and childless women), life is complicated. I probably just think about these issues too much, and make it complicated...  
 

Connections

On my kid-free day, I spent a lovely few hours at a ... kids' birthday party. As any parent knows, when the kids are not your own, it can be very relaxing. And this was a 1-year old's party, with a few small cute kids, and lots of adults. Quite a change from what we have gotten used to, where there are three times or more as many kids than adults, and us adults become a decreasing minority with time, as new siblings join in. It was wonderful to just sit and chat, enjoy coffee and cake, and meet some new people as well. There are so many fascinating people around (especially after having spent two weeks 24/7 with a toddler...), and I ended up making a list of whom I should connect to whom (work-related, art-related, movie-plans). My kids are so lovely, but they feel even lovelier when I have had a short, inspiring breather.

40-day Fast

I have fasted every year before Easter for a long time now, and usually choose to give up what I find most difficult, which is coffee. Some years, I have tried a "good deed" fast, but that's one that I find difficult to carry out in practice. My kids fast "for fun" with me, and I have been pretty impressed at how a 3-year old can already abstain for 40 days from e.g. gummi bears or smarties (think of all those birthday cakes and muffins at kindergarden). We've had some funny fasts when our girls were small, including also tomato juice or eating cars. My husband - after a decade - has joined us, although he often forgets to abstain from his choice after day two. This year, I have decided to go for coffee again. I don't drink much, but my two espressi a day are vital, both for my head physically, to get rid of grumpiness and tiredness, but also because I absolutely love the taste and "ceremony". I was discussing this with the kids yesterday, and my eldest (6) said she would try to be less greedy, but then decided this may be something to try when she's "older". My kids agreed that I should try to raise my voice less with them (very true). But my daughter age 5 was a heartbreaker when she said, based on what we often commend about her character, which is to share and be a kind person to others, that she will try to be "a less kind person". Two weeks to go...to the toughest 40 days of the year.

Travel Insurance - Vital with Kids

With three kids, cheap weekend get-aways with the whole family now cost the equivalent of a really expensive annual vacation for two. The alternatives are to travel alone (which I love doing), or set into motion the grandparents-weekend-caretaker system, which costs the additional travels for grandparents. Most people at this point buy a car. But my friends live all over the globe, I don't drive, and it doesn't really make sense for us inner-city-dwellers to have a car.

We've just accepted that life with small kids becomes very expensive for this reason (and a few more, such as crazily expensive private education). All luxury problems - and problems we have made a conscious choice to have (although if I could choose, all my friends would live right across the street).

Anyone with one, two, three or more kids knows that the real problem about traveling is not the price, but whether you can travel at all. One of the kids or us has been ill constantly over the entire fall and winter. My husband nearly missed our Christmas trip. And our weekend trip to visit lovely friends was just cancelled because my youngest got ill.

Praise to travel insurance. For the next ten or twenty years, we will always click that little box that used to cost more than the flight or travel price itself.

Giving Thanks

When I was younger, I used to find my mother's habit of giving gifts to everyone strange. I grew up in part in Vienna (and in part in Helsinki), and thought that it's just a cultural thing in Vienna to constantly bring wine, chocolates, flowers etc to everyone. Being an extremely stingy person, and also being awful at giving presents, I never really understood the point. That is, until I started understanding that these presents are not just a "pleasant greeting", but a "thanks". A thanks for invitations, dinners, cakes, help, good service, and whatnot else. And not just a "thanks" per se, but for issues and things that cannot always be taken for granted. And that require an effort from most people.

I'm usually happy to do favors for people, and I don't expect a reward. But with increasing age and responsibility for various things (including three kids), I get angry if people don't give thanks in return, or take my help for granted. Help usually involves work, effort and time. It can involve fun, but it can often be draining, come up during a difficult time, or be more than one expected. I have increasingly started realizing this, and increasingly started buying those boxes of chocolates. Those of you who have been helping me during the past months, expect your deliveries soon(ish).

When I started writing this blog, I wrote one entry about becoming your own mother. Well, for the better sometimes, I think.

Women who Inspire

I could write a wonderful list of my friends' names here. But I was thinking about this issue from a slightly different angle today after an artist friend of mine asked me to interview for an audio piece she is working on about women who publicly support each other, and whom I admire. I chose to speak about Graca Machel, Nelson Mandela's current wife, mother of two, and UN expert on the effects of conflict on children, as well as Ngozi Ikonjo-Iweala, Nigerian Finance Minister, mom of four, and former World Bank Managing Director and (unfortunately not chosen) Presidential candidate. Two incredibly powerful, intelligent, and succesful women who do so much great work for  good causes. Who do you admire?

Oma and my Bank Balance

Following my post on What's a good babysitter?, "Oma" (granny in German) may have some high costs (although we love our Omas dearly, all of us probably know what I mean), but they sure do help the bank balance of a working mom. Starting my new job, I will take a tripple loss financially. First, the household tax break loss, which I wrote about a few times. Second, the cost of additional babysitting that I require to cover afternoons. Third, in case of minor illnesses or trips, a significant potential loss for emergency babysitting coverage. (Fourth, I can't run around in my old snotty clothes, so will have to stock up on some decent work clothes again). Poor Omas around the world should be paid zillions for their support - mine are fabulous, willing to fly over in case they are needed (and pay for their trips). (Add-on: I'm sure Opas - granddads - are great as well, but somehow they are less keen volunteers, and enjoy their freedom...)

Wedding Dreams

I sometimes feel old when I realize that it is unlikely that I will ever get married or have kids again (who knows, though). But that's what dreams (and friends!) are for, right? I have a few times dreamt that I have been pregnant again, but last night also dreamt that I was to be married. The same husband, the same in-laws. But, just to be cliché, in my dream I realized I hadn't shaved my legs, and had forgotten to think about tights. I wasn't stressed. And an hour before the church ceremony, I hadn't even started getting dressed or ready (no hair, no shower, nothing), I also realized I hadn't remembered to get a dress either. I continued to be very relaxed in my dream. Either this shows that my priorities have shifted since my wedding 8.5 years ago, or that I have become more relaxed about a lot of issues. Or that I'm a plain old sloppy, exhausted and forgetful mom of three small kids?

When Tired - Do Not Think

Friday evening after an exceptionally exhausting week (operation of and having my youngest at home, running the usual errands) is not a good time to think about whether starting a job is a good idea. It's also not the right time to watch heavy, depressing movies instead. Note to self.
(Self pity trip: the weekend won't be easier, as I am alone with the kids).

Give Me a (Recruiting) Break

One written application, three interviews, one written test, and one telephone conversation later, one of my referees from my CV sent me the referee questionnaire that was sent to her for my job application. She had been brilliant and answered most of it, which probably took her two hours, as she had to dig up my task list and work report, compare these to the required competencies of this new job, and answer several "character" questions.

I am slowly despairing with this process, which has in time and money cost everyone involved around three future annual salaries. Perhaps they plan to recruit me and the next week offer me to run the whole institution?

Decision-making time, please...

Poor Souls

Following the Indian high-profile rape and murder case, the German newspaper I read (SZ) publishes daily short blurbs on new rape cases in India. Today of a seven- and three-year old girl (both died). Sadly, in a few days, the media hype will die out. Devastatingly, the cases continue, day after day, with or without the world taking note. Those stories that have been able to latch on to the hype will also disappear, such as human trafficking reports and condom use from today's paper, which usually don't get coverage. Rape is something I find terrible and terrifying. An industry based on this (human trafficking) is - I am at loss for words what it could be described as. And even the decision by US pornography producers to go against a law that would force "actors" to use condoms (a third of them at least have tested STDs), because it's too much effort (and cost, for an industry that makes heaps of profits) to photoshop - it just makes me a combination of angry and sad (is there a word for this other than the bland "disappointed"?).

Nostalgia - Babies

My youngest (soon 2) was today operated on his thumb, and had to be put under full anasthetics. It was thankfully an in-and-out procedure, went very well, and we were allowed to return home after a couple of hours. Although it was a minor operation, I was scared, as I guess any parent is who knows what risks are involved in any operation. But I was also nostalgic, because right next to the operating rooms were the birth wardens, where I gave birth to all three children. I saw a woman at the door in labour pains. I saw dads sleeping. I saw newborns in their car seats. And in the room where my son woke up, there was a mother and her 20-minute old infant. Seeing a new born nearly makes me cry each time. A new life is such a blessing. And I have been so blessed to have experienced this three times myself, and through friends, continue to see new mini-people join this world - and grow up into little people, and bigger people.

Learn for Life (and send your kids abroad)

My Sunday evening program does not usually include going to a lecture, but my old university supervisor from 12 years back (International Relations Masters at the London School of Economics) is in town (Berlin) and gave a talk on Britain and the EU to alumni, just around the corner from my place, so I decided to go. I didn't think a) he'd remember me, b) there would be anyone in the audience I would know (or anyone in the audience on a Sunday evening. End.).

Well, wrong on both fronts. Although I'm very active in alumni work for my Berlin university (I did a second masters five years after the first one), I have been lousy with alumni contacts from London, although I loved my years there. This was the first event I went to. I plan to go to more.

My supervisor, now a Liberal Democrat in charge of foreign policy in the coalition government, remembered who I was. More impressive, I bumped into someone whom I started my PhD year with (he became a Doctor, I quit very early into the program), as well as another professor I know. It was great fun to catch up on people who were in my year.

But the best part was to listen to a topic that I rather passively follow (through the media, and even there I often skip much of the UK news these days), from a perspective that I have not followed since my studies (i.e. "real foreign policy"), and from a person who has a truly British perspective on things. It was as if I had been transported to a different, older world, where people ask questions about defense cooperation and budgets (do these things really shape the world? It's such a different discourse from what I'm used to these days, either general budgets or health/aid (the latter unfortunately definitely does not shape the world enough)).

At the end of the day, whether defense budgets and foreign policy or what not, the world I live in is so small. It's a privilege, and I should use and learn from the intelligence out there more (see last post on networking).

The "lesson" I am supposed to share from this evening (says my Professor): send your kids abroad early. Everyone is a "foreigner" somewhere. No need to say more.

Can Books Be Dangerous?

I read a lot. The thrill of holding a new book in my hands that I have wanted to read is like waiting for the roller coaster ride to start its first descent. Sometimes, it's exhilarating. At other times, it's hugely disappointing.

I believe that life is too short to read bad books. There are so many great books out there, and whenever I come across something I don't enjoy - or struggle to get through - I give up and move on. At the moment, I'm reading Rushdie's "Joseph Anton", which I have written about in a couple of posts. I just received Alois Prinz's new biography on Hannah Arendt (yay!), and have on my bedside table Chinese Mo Yan's (nobel prize winner) "Red Sorghum" (brutal).

I just read in the newspaper that Turkey lifted a ban on 23,000 books, that had been in place for decades. The ban included some mundane Western comics, but also books by PKK leader Öcalan. In line with the Rushdie fatwa case: can these books be dangerous?

Libel, hate-speak, denials of holocausts etc have been and continue to be banned in many places. The line between freedom of speech and incitement of violence or insult can be a thin one, and placed in different spots by different parties and individuals.

Just a while back, I was reading a book review on a current bestseller novel called "Er ist wider da" (He's here again), which is about Hitler re-emerging with amnesia of the past 65 years in our current day, and eventually rising back to power due to public parody and media hype. The reviewer criticized the author of "being naive about his readership", implying that the book may be read as right-wing neo-fascist propaganda.

Food for thought.  

What's a Good Babysitter?

When my son was 4 months old, I started working on a project, and needed a babysitter to take care of him for a couple of hours each day. My girls were at daycare, but I didn't have a place for him yet. I found a babysitter through kindergarden, and had a friend vouch that she was great also with babies. This babysitter turned out to be a true gem, and also turned into a friend.

I later on recommended her to several other friends, and they often sing the song: "There's no-one like A." It's true: she is just perfect. Super organized, super nice, able to multitask, independent, very discreet, very diplomatic, very intelligent... I felt so comfortable leaving my baby in her care, and trusted her 150%. She has unfortunately now moved on to other work (she's a talented and rising star in the art world), and no longer has time to babysit our kids.

Our girls started daycare at a very young age for German standards (4 and 5 months). We had an amazing woman at kindergarden taking care of both of them when they were small. She was one of those kind teddy-bears, who rather calmly cuddles and holds five crying babies than set one down.

It's such a difficult thing to do: to leave your small child in someone else's care. Trusting this person to be kind to your child is essential. We've been very lucky so far, although we've seen some rotten apples during our years as well.

I hope that during our ongoing search to find someone to take care of our kids in the afternoons, if everything works out with my new job, we'll find more gems. Cross your fingers for us.

The Slot Machine called Career - and Coins

I am a strong proponent of networking. When I was working for the World Bank, this was a very easy task, because the status of the World Bank at development meetings acts like a magnet: people throw business cards at you. I collected very useful ones (the most high-profile ones I had to go and gather myself, of course), but also held a bunch in my hand after any large meeting wondering what on earth I would do with some of them.

I got invited to events only because of my institution, not because of my job, title, or - woe of woes - skills and personality. I once went to wine and dine luxuriously in Milan and Turin because the organizer was so happy to have the Bank on their list of attendees (I did actually go to the meeting because it was hugely useful for my project's contacts, and did have to convince my Manager using the criteria of objective usefulness that he should approve my trip).

But the best part of networking, useful or not at the precise moment of contact, is that there are people - a "face" - behind the business cards. These are real people, with strengths, weaknesses, stories, and personalities. They make working "real", which is not the case if you only communicate through e-mail or phone. And face-value increases trust. Would I ever ask for a favor of someone I've e-mailed with extensively to organize some or other issue at work? Rarely. Would I ask for a favor from someone I chatted to during an extensive coffee break and lunch at a conference? Yes.

The most useful network is personal. And the best network ever consists of friends. Those of you out there know who you are. You are the coins for this slot-machine called career (the great part is that the machine does not eat the coin, but lets me use it again and again...).  

Ehegattensplitting - crazy German tax policy

I've written about this one before, but the issue of tax incentives for women (not) to work has come up again now that the German 2013 election campaign has begun. In a nutshell, German tax policy for married couples is such that household, not individual, income is taxed, by a rate that lies inbetween what would be the two individual tax rates (Germany has progressive taxation, i.e. the more you earn, the higher your rate is). As men usually earn more than women (in Germany 22% more on average, one of the highest discepancies in the OECD), being married to a low- or no-income earner makes sense, as the man's income is now taxed at a lower rate than if he were single. On the other hand, the woman's rate is higher if she works, so earning more or at all increases the household tax rate (as the average rate rises with the rate that the woman's income rises with), and net income therefore falls. The crazy part, I find, is that when a woman earns a bit more, and the household tax rate rises, the additional income by the woman is negated by the loss from the man's now higher tax burden. Often, the household income actually falls because the woman earns (more than before), due to this tax effect. We're not talking about a few euros a year, but thousands for most households. Add childcare costs from not being to take care of your kids, and you see what happens: women stay at home. Working as a woman is a "luxury" that many households cannot afford!

From (In)equality to Equality - and Why

I wrote this piece today on the spur-of-the-moment for my Berlin university's bi-annual magazine, the next edition which will be on "(In)Equality". A theme I like writing about, as you know, and in case they decide not to include it, at least a few people can read it this way.  

Why We Should Try to Move from (In)equality to Living In Equality

Equality is a concept of relativity. The assets, skills, and/or opportunities of one person are compared to those of another. If they are found to be the same, we speak of “equality”. In turn, if there is divergence, we speak of “inequality”. However, the concept of equality is not that straightforward. An example: If you have ten thousand euros and have retired, and I have ten thousand euros debt, we are considered “unequal” on an income scale. But what if you have no further prospects for income, live in a society without a welfare system, and I have a graduate degree in my pocket, a contract with a high-flying consultancy, and a guaranteed high pension at the end of my work life? Or what if you are a woman, living in a country without gender rights, and suddenly have 13 orphaned grandchildren to raise on your own because most family members have died from AIDS? It feels as if we are suddenly comparing apples with pears, as the circumstances and/or changes with time seem to make a simple comparison based on current income irrelevant.

Equality is also a highly normative concept. The assumption in most literature on inequality (e.g. debates on global or national poverty, education opportunities or gender equality) is that inequality is a “bad”, and equality is the Holy Grail. But look at, for example, the gender debates of the past decades to see how much disagreement there can be on what “equality” means. Does gender equality mean that women should be the “same” as men? Or should this equality be reached by “feminizing” men to take on traditionally “female” roles such as childcare and household tasks? Or does “equality” mean something completely different to “sameness”? Another example comes from the field of development theory, which has parallels to economic ideology and e.g. tax and redistribution policies throughout the past century: Should a “poor” class or country be made “richer” (sometimes implying “as rich”), or should the “rich” be made “poorer” in order to attain equality? How? And most interestingly: Why?   

Equality debates are often framed as moral debates of “rights”. Inequalities of assets, and in particular of starting conditions and opportunities are seen as “unfair”. However, the motivation behind trying to attain “equality” is often not one that rises out of principle, but because inequalities have real, practical, and often detrimental consequences. Gender inequalities result in a weaker and smaller workforce, and lower GDP growth for all. Global and intra-national income inequalities result in political tensions and increase in violence. Unequal access to natural resources results in resource depletion and wars. Poverty results in unnecessary suffering and deaths.

Most equality theorists have taken into account the complexity of the concept of equality. For example, if we look at more recent development theory literature, we find that authors such as Jeffrey Sachs, William Easterly, Dambisa Moyo, Amartya Sen, and Esther Duflo take into account not only income inequalities, but also inequalities of opportunities, skill-sets, geographic and psychological conditions, historical determinants, and personal choice. One of the most exciting pieces in this field in the past years has been Esther Duflo and Abhjit Banerjee’s book “Poor Economics: A Radical Rethinking of the Way to Fight Global Poverty”, which criticizes most development literature to be abstract, aiming to solve inequalities through grand theories and single variables, and instead shows how inequalities are determined and can be changed by understanding local circumstances, cultural conditioning, or individual psychology. The main lesson here is that the devil is in the detail, and the main question should be: What do those who are on the losing side of “unequal” (i.e. here the poor) actually want?

The above question shows that equality debates are not only normative debates, but also power struggles. The rich, skilled, lucky or strong (by some termed the “core”) are at one end of the continuum, and at the other lie the poor, unskilled, unlucky or weak (the “periphery”). One side has power, and the opportunities to use this power, whereas the other side is marginalized not only in its assets and opportunities, but also in its ability to shape policy and debates.

There have been two reactions aiming to bridge this divide between the “core” and “periphery”. One has been a wave of attempts by policy-makers in several fields to “enfranchise”, “consult”, and “include” the periphery, in order to give the “periphery” a voice or even a right to participate in the decision-making process. For example, the World Bank has for several years run hundreds of national consultation workshops prior to re-writing its multi-annual policy strategies (e.g. education, energy, environment) to include the views of NGOs, the private sector, and academia in both developed as well as developing countries.

Another reaction has been to ask the “periphery” to define its demands, and in part fund and implement these policies, with the assistance of “core” funding. This model is at the centre of the Global Fund to Fight AIDS, Tuberculosis and Malaria, which channels most government funding against these diseases to developing countries. The idea is that through this inclusion, the developing countries become at least in part responsible and accountable for the policies made and implemented. And most importantly, they best know what they need.

At the end of the day, equality is not an end to itself. It is a means. The aim is not to create “sameness”, transforming pears to become apples or vice versa. Trying to attain equality often means trying to make the world a better place for those who are suffering, deprived of a voice or rights. Essentially, equality implies access and opportunities for all.

Arts - Bridging the Generation Gap

There's nothing better than an "artsy" day.

Since having the kids (starting 6.5 years ago), I have visited far too few museums, concert houses and movie theaters. The latter I've been catching up on via DVD, but other than on trips abroad, I rarely see much art anymore. I exclude books here, as I still read a lot.

I've been trying to integrate this aspect into my life with the kids. My own parents took us to many a exhibition, movie and concert when we were young, and not all of these were tailored for children (e.g. my first movie memories are of Hotel New Hampshire (Irving's book) and Midnight Sex Comedies (Woody Allen), as well as the Last Emperor, Gandhi and Passage To India). I've taken the kids to a few child-friendly philharmonic concerts, operas and ballets, but have found visits to "normal" art spaces more satisfying for everyone. Revisiting the Centre Pompidou in Paris, or today going through the Berlin equivalent, the Hamburger Bahnhof, have been fun trips for all of us. Art gives me so much energy. It is the best break to routine possible.

It's something I find necessary for me. And I hope the kids learn to enjoy this "language", and find it an enrichment in their lives - also later on.

Women's Rights - Body and Mind

Malala, the Pakistani girl who barely escaped a murder attempt by religious extremists in response to her blog on the lack of education opportunities for girls, was recently released from hospital in the UK. Again, I must be too naive for this world, as such an attack is just incomprehensible. On the other side of the spectrum (from ideas to body), the Indian 23-year old who was mutilated, mass raped and died from her injuries shortly afterwards was just cremated. Abhorrent, bestial, and so sad.

I am currently reading Salman Rushdie's "Joseph Anton", his biography about his fatwa experience (Iran had a million-dollar bounty on his life for seven years following the publication of the Satanic Verses, and Rushdie led a very restricted under-cover life during these years). Again, to me an utterly incomprehensible reaction. I read the Satanic Verses a couple of years ago, and as Rushdie himself, cannot see anything fundamentally anti-Islamic in it.

I guess it is impossible to prevent all cases of innocent people from being attacked for their thoughts and body. But it must be possible to prevent many such attacks. They happen everywhere. I hope that they make everyone think. Think. And act.

2013 - Let the Change Begin

Back in Berlin, but not yet free to blog, as all three kids are still at home (with yours truly only). I unfortunately missed the northern lights in Finnish Lapland (but saw lots of beautiful snow-filled trees and landscapes and stars), and missed new years (I decided to accept reality and catch up on much needed sleep instead). And returning home by train with all our luggage, plus no buggy, into a city that does not clean up after a kazillion rockets, to gray constant drizzle, to being stuck indoors with my lovely but very needy kids (now aged 6.5, 5 and nealy 2) is, well, draining. But there is hope. This year is going to be full of change. Perhaps on the job front. On the childcare front as a result. And definitely in terms of location, as we are now 7 months away from our move to Brussels. It will be a strenuous year for all of us. But hopefully a happy one. And - please - a slightly healthier one for all of us! Happy hopeful 2013 to all of you! Special thoughts go out to my working mom stars  in the US, Cambodia, Sweden and Switzerland. Austria, Germany and Finland as well. You inspire me!