After several months of debating this decision with myself, and after eight months since starting my job, I quit. There's a long list of reasons why I decided I will leave, and an equally long list why I stayed on for so long.
It's a surreal feeling at the moment, knowing I'll most likely be back in career free fall soon, but also knowing that there would be a number of opportunities out there. Great career opportunities, and I have been asked to apply for a number of these opportunities. This may be the main reason I decided to quit: the discrepancy of where I think I should be, and where I am.
It's a geographical discrepancy, not only a distance in career steps.
The problem is, these career advancement opportunities are not in Berlin. And the greater problem is that my life is not only one suitcase anymore, which can be packed up. It's also not something that can wait in storage. My life is also not my life alone anymore. It is also the life of my husband, with his work, and that of my children. It is my life with my friends, and this city that I consider my home.
I have always defined myself strongly through work, or where I thought my studies and career would take me. My self esteem and feeling of value stems from work to a great extent. My motivation to achieve and do stems from work.
It's time to rethink things again. And hopefully build something new. It will be a difficult, long process, I fear. But what doesn't kill us (and this wont kill me!) will make us stronger, to quote Nietzsche.
Blog Phase 1 so far was about "how to get a job in Berlin". Blog Phase 2 is likely to be "can I get the right job in Berlin". Because as those of you who have followed Phase 1 so far, this mom of three will not and cannot be happy without a "job"... excuse the lack of cupcake recipes and boutique tips in the future as well!
