Raven mom - rabenmutter

In Germany, there's a lovely concept for all moms who do not stay at home with their kids: Rabenmutter. When I first moved to Germany in 2001, I first heard of this concept at a work event. I didn't have kids at the time, but there was a young woman who made a statement about women having their place with their kids - and my blood boiled. 13 years and 3 kids later, my blood still boils, but I have been infected / socialized, and now suffer from guilt. I have not changed what I think is best for myself and our family sanity and harmony because of this guilt, but seeing all the moms with their babies day in, day out - and then toddlers, year in, year out - and then older school-aged children, afternoon in, afternoon out (German state schools only run until lunch) makes me feel like I am a failed mom. Not a failed employee (although I struggle..), not a failed partner and woman, not a failed me. But a failed "24-hour" mom. Some days, when the system is so much against a mother working, when we pay such a sillily high financial price for putting our kids in full-day (private) school, and for paying for a babysitter to cover late afternoons - and when my job situation in this city is, well, not optimal, it's simply tough to believe it makes sense to fight for my own fulfillment, what makes our family life more balanced, for being a more active member of this society, and for doing the things I want to do. That I have worked so hard to do. There are still too few dads out there, although we live in an area that is quite progressive. There's still too much imbalance. And too much guilt, in my own head.