Finnish language (I come from Finland) is gender neutral. We don't have gender cases (as the French do with "la" and "le"), nor is there a gendered "she" and "he" - we talk of a human "it" when we refer to a third person.
My Finnish friends would have to write about the position of gender in upbringing in Finland, because I haven't lived there that long. I find it difficult to infer generalities about this from my own upbringing, because I think a combination of individual and environmental factors have influenced my parents - including their reactions to partly bringing me up in a foreign country.
What I can say about my own upbringing is that I am grateful to my parents for being relatively tolerant. My father always encouraged me to do well, also in "male" domains that I was interested in. My mother, definitely a fan of the feminine (dresses, make up and all) never discouraged me from being girly. I have, I think for this reason, never so far felt that uncomfortable with my gender.
There's a lot of debate on whether girls should be "nudged" towards more "male" games, toys, school subjects, jobs, etc, in order to improve their economic chances and broaden their opportunities in life. There's less noise on whether boys should not play with dolls etc, although there is much news on how men should participate in "female" household tasks, including childcare.
To be honest, I find these debates very confusing. On the one hand, I find most "guidelines" on how to bring up your children ("encourage boys to play with dolls and try dresses", "do not buy Barbies or pink dresses for your daughters") simplistic, ineffective, and potentially very confusing for the kids. On the other hand, I think that the factors that most influence how gender roles develop are role models, peers, and what these two groups keep hammering into children's heads.
In practice, I don't spend too much time thinking about the "gender parenting" of my own kids. Maybe I should be swimming against the tide more, forcing my little princesses (my two older girls) to be more like my roaring pirate (my youngest), and vice versa. But gut feeling tells me that effecting a "change" in gender roles does not start with how you parent your kids. It starts with yourself.
I would agree with you. While I completely agree with many voices out there that there is a damaging propensity of marketing that intensifies gender stereo-typing, my hope is that modeling more open behavior and allowing for different kinds of exploration and exposure should at least help to counteract some of what kids learn from the television, disney, and other families. At my baby shower a few weeks ago, a friend gifted us a big basket of dress up clothes, many of them were big tutus, glittery skirts and other very "princessy" items. I was okay with it! I thought it was a great idea to have a basket of dress up clothes that kids (boys or girls) could use for imaginative play. There was also a pirate hat and eye patch in there, a chef's hat and apron, and less shiny things. Some others in the room were HORRIFIED and couldn't stop harping on about how they were going to try to counteract the effects of these apparently evil devices. I don't think it has to be so dramatic: allow children to explore, give them self-confidence to be different, teach them to be tolerant of people who have different viewpoints and practices. Being too extreme on one end or the other just feels like it can be judgmental on the one hand or capitulating on the other.
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