I've been stuck in bed for the past four days with my first flu ever. Yes, in 34 years. It's been yet another lesson in gratitude that this family runs well without me. Thanks mainly to my husband, who is running the household and kept the kids entertained all weekend - and cancelled his work trips for the week. And thanks to our babysitter, who has been available and helpful as always. Also thanks to our grandparents, who I know would travel over to help in any emergency, but thankfully we haven't had to ask. On the one hand, it's good to know that everything just keeps rolling. On the other, it makes me wonder why I find my own task-list never-ending, but once I don't do anything, no-one really notices. The world just keeps turning.
2014 has been a year of one illness after another. It has been very tough, and I really don't see how I would have been able to work more than on the little project I'm working on. Last year, when I quit my job, I didn't quit for family reasons, but for myself. This year, I think I wouldn't have been able to work due to family reasons - constantly ill kids, and now also myself. Maybe this was my punishment for thinking about myself, and only myself? And this is fate reminding me that my role is to be a mother - and perhaps without the possibility to be anything more at this point? (Note: Written when sick, tired and lousy-feeling).
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