When I was younger, I used to find my mother's habit of giving gifts to everyone strange. I grew up in part in Vienna (and in part in Helsinki), and thought that it's just a cultural thing in Vienna to constantly bring wine, chocolates, flowers etc to everyone. Being an extremely stingy person, and also being awful at giving presents, I never really understood the point. That is, until I started understanding that these presents are not just a "pleasant greeting", but a "thanks". A thanks for invitations, dinners, cakes, help, good service, and whatnot else. And not just a "thanks" per se, but for issues and things that cannot always be taken for granted. And that require an effort from most people.
I'm usually happy to do favors for people, and I don't expect a reward. But with increasing age and responsibility for various things (including three kids), I get angry if people don't give thanks in return, or take my help for granted. Help usually involves work, effort and time. It can involve fun, but it can often be draining, come up during a difficult time, or be more than one expected. I have increasingly started realizing this, and increasingly started buying those boxes of chocolates. Those of you who have been helping me during the past months, expect your deliveries soon(ish).
When I started writing this blog, I wrote one entry about becoming your own mother. Well, for the better sometimes, I think.
No comments:
Post a Comment