T = Time Out

When my eldest was still a baby (she's now 6), I used to read baby manuals, especially while breastfeeding for endless hours. As a new parent, I was very insecure whether her sleep and feeding patterns, which were all over the place, really could be normal (as I was absolutely exhausted the first three months). I never picked up a manual with my second or third, despite similar problems.

I remember reading in one of these manuals that there are times when a mom should just take a "time out". The example was a strenuous day of carrying a crying baby around, where the mom is at her physical limits and end of her nerves. The manual suggested that it's a better idea to lay the baby in its crib for five minutes, and just take a few deep breaths in another room - and then face the burden of the rest of the day with at least a bit of distance and energy.

I support this suggestion on a bigger scale as well. Moms need breathers  - at least I do. I take far too few, and am often at my physical and mental limits (which manifests itself in tight nerves, snapping far too quickly about tiny things, and pure exhaustion).

Even with a third child (1.5 years, clearly into the "terribles", which I wrote about in a recent post), I take far too few moments to recuperate - which I believe makes one more sane and also a better, more loving mom. I do often tell my husband that I need five minutes, and close the door to the bedroom, and just lie there reading a book. Better, but not enough. It's a "time out" with a little "t".

Yesterday, I had one of those "time out" needs with a big "T". I decided not to take any kids with to a birthday picnic we'd been invited to, but instead slapped on some makeup and perfume, got changed (something I would rarely bother to do with all three kids with), and enjoyed a nice afternoon and evening eating sushi, sipping bubbly, and chatting to people. Without kids.

There's also a "time out" with a "T" underlined and in bold, which is weekend get-aways. I'm looking forward to one soon - no kids on board - to go and see a dear friend and new mother.