Countryside and "Lazy" Thoughts about Employability

I just spent a wonderful day in the countryside, at a good-bye party for a good friend. Throughout the years that I have known my friend, I have met several of her friends at various get-togethers. I have seen people have a first child, and a second, during this time - and have memories of our children meeting at parties as babies, later on as toddlers, and now as pre-school children.

What saddens me nearly as much as loosing close contact with a friend with these good-byes (this is the second within a month) is that I will not see their children, or their friends' children grow up at a pace where you recognize the child and know their quirks.

 I heard from two of these friends' friends the same old story: difficult to find decent and decently paid child-compatible work, and double the more so as a foreigner (the respective countries of residence were Germany and France).

 Independent of these stories, I was last night wondering whether motherhood makes one lazy - at least me. I feel like I run a marathon, every day. Yet on the other hand I realize I have started using this "exhaustion" as a convinient excuse not to start looking for a new project after my last one finished. I can think of several reasons for this. First, I have never really taken it very easy before. Even after kids one and two. Maybe I really am a bit exhausted. Second, I have had interesting jobs, but have - with all pregnancies, maternity leaves and other reasons - never tried or succeeded in climbing the career ladder (in terms of hierarchy). I keep wondering whether it is worth the stress to return to field zero again. Third, as mentioned in my last post: the German tax system punishes me financially (a 60 percent tax on part-time income is a punishment in my view) if I go to work at a German institution (hence one big motivation to work at tax-exempt international organizations as a married woman). Finally, it is difficult to know in advance whether an employer will be flexible with my situation: a husband who travels a lot, and three kids who, although miraculously never really ill so far, still require check-ups, have random days off due to teacher training, have long holidays, and may of course fall ill at any point in time.

 I dont think it is pessimistic to think that employers will not have serious doubts about my situation. I think it is realistic, and as long as our worklife is still organized the way it is these days, it may mean that I need to do some serious thinking about what my chances are in the labour market. At least while I refuse to put my children into 12-hour care each day, have a babysitter cover possible travels or evening meetings, and not be able to sit by their bedside when they have fever and feel miserable. I know women who do this, and they are far in their careers - and have small children. But I want the luxury of seeing my kids every day, and not just on weekends. And I want to be able to be there when they need me.