We recently took the regional train to our weekend hideaway, an hour away from Berlin. I love traveling by train in Berlin, because many tracks are high above ground, and you get a good view of the city. We travelled East from our home in Mitte (city centre), where the tracks run along the river Spree. There's a magnificent spot around a station called Warschauer Strasse, where the river runs wide, various bridges zig-zag across the river, there's an impressive art piece in the middle of the water, and a view of the skyline and TV-tower (the "Alex"). Right there, at this spot, is a new high office building. The thought that crossed my mind was that "I'd like to work in that office right there, overlooking this view". Perhaps I've been wrong in concentrating on the "what" (i.e. substance) or work for so long, and have forgotten that I find the "where" very important as well (i.e. surroundings, people, atmosphere, even status symbols such as a nice building).
Then again, I was reading Paul Auster's Winter Journal yesterday, which is an autobiographical story about how he became what he is - and part of that includes where he lived and worked. As a young, struggling writer in New York, he lists quite a few dumps, stating that it never mattered where he wrote, as long as he had a place. So maybe it's about feeling truly comfortable about what you do, and everything else is irrelevant.
At the end of the day, substance probably trumps location for me, but the truth is probably somewhere in the middle. Or in trying to have it all….
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Monday, March 24, 2014
Glass Ceiling or Trap Door?
Most debates about women and the workplace focus on "glass ceilings" - social or organizational norms or traditions that bar women from advancing in their careers. Female quotas in leadership positions are a way to open up these pathways for women, as are women in leadership positions who have boxed their way through to the top, and are door-openers for generations of women to come. Female corporate leaders or heads of state are no longer a strange sight in many countries or economic areas.
But my own theory is that glass ceilings are only half of the problem. The other half is the problem of "trap doors". Trap doors open up under your feet, and you fall to a level below. I used "snakes and ladders" in one of my first blog posts to exemplify what I mean: we may have ladders to climb, but we also have snakes to slide down.
I like the idea of "trap doors", because for women as naive as I am, and having only focused on "glass ceilings" for the first 30 years of my life, these "trap doors" come unexpected. They usually hit you with the birth of a child, but I am sure that there are other situations that can catch you off guard as well, and force you to fall back in your career (e.g. weak negotiation skills or elbowing skills or willingness in the case of many women).
The sad thing is that, the more you fall through these trap doors (and with three children and my poor skills at fighting for my rights, I've fallen several times), the less you start staring at your toes - and forget to reach for the stars, and to focus on breaking those glass ceilings. "I need to avoid falling" replaces "I need to fly high".
How do we motivate women like me, no longer in their early 20s, to reach higher, and remain true to their dreams? How do women like me find the energy to climb, again and again? I haven't yet found the energy, and I'm still stuck in resignation.
But my own theory is that glass ceilings are only half of the problem. The other half is the problem of "trap doors". Trap doors open up under your feet, and you fall to a level below. I used "snakes and ladders" in one of my first blog posts to exemplify what I mean: we may have ladders to climb, but we also have snakes to slide down.
I like the idea of "trap doors", because for women as naive as I am, and having only focused on "glass ceilings" for the first 30 years of my life, these "trap doors" come unexpected. They usually hit you with the birth of a child, but I am sure that there are other situations that can catch you off guard as well, and force you to fall back in your career (e.g. weak negotiation skills or elbowing skills or willingness in the case of many women).
The sad thing is that, the more you fall through these trap doors (and with three children and my poor skills at fighting for my rights, I've fallen several times), the less you start staring at your toes - and forget to reach for the stars, and to focus on breaking those glass ceilings. "I need to avoid falling" replaces "I need to fly high".
How do we motivate women like me, no longer in their early 20s, to reach higher, and remain true to their dreams? How do women like me find the energy to climb, again and again? I haven't yet found the energy, and I'm still stuck in resignation.
Friday, March 21, 2014
For the Same Pay -> German Woman Works 80 Days More Per Year
Today is Equal Pay Day (fitting after yesterday's Happiness Day: what goes up, must come down…).
The OECD recently published data that confirms a long trend: women earn around 15% less pay for doing the same work that men do. In Germany, this gap is the highest, at 22%.
I'm a person who doesn't work well with abstract numbers, and even if you break the percentage down into euro-figures, it doesn't mean that much to me. It's less, whichever way you portray it.
But today's paper (SZ) has a fascinating graph, which illustrates the case through "more". Taking the 22%, the paper shows have many MORE DAYS a woman would have to work per year, in order to earn what a man earns. In Germany, whereas men in the calendar year 2013 stopped working on December 31st, women work until today: March 21st. In other words, they work 365 days in 2013, and 80 days in 2014, just to earn the same income as men did in 2013.
No wonder many of us women feel like we're constantly running a marathon. We're not only working more (if you include unpaid work), we're also running simply to catch up with someone who is walking - or has sat down with a newspaper 80 days ago.
(It's not simply men's fault - I'm aware of this. Apologies for simplifying. But it's just such a wonderful image. Wonderfully terrifying and depressing.)
The OECD recently published data that confirms a long trend: women earn around 15% less pay for doing the same work that men do. In Germany, this gap is the highest, at 22%.
I'm a person who doesn't work well with abstract numbers, and even if you break the percentage down into euro-figures, it doesn't mean that much to me. It's less, whichever way you portray it.
But today's paper (SZ) has a fascinating graph, which illustrates the case through "more". Taking the 22%, the paper shows have many MORE DAYS a woman would have to work per year, in order to earn what a man earns. In Germany, whereas men in the calendar year 2013 stopped working on December 31st, women work until today: March 21st. In other words, they work 365 days in 2013, and 80 days in 2014, just to earn the same income as men did in 2013.
No wonder many of us women feel like we're constantly running a marathon. We're not only working more (if you include unpaid work), we're also running simply to catch up with someone who is walking - or has sat down with a newspaper 80 days ago.
(It's not simply men's fault - I'm aware of this. Apologies for simplifying. But it's just such a wonderful image. Wonderfully terrifying and depressing.)
Wednesday, March 19, 2014
Big fish, little fish, swimming in the water
(Listen to the song by PJ Harvey if you don't know it! I used to love it over two decades ago - gulp.)
The great thing about lying in bed for four days is that, after having slept through 72 hours, I had a day of resting yesterday - and caught up on a few "House of Cards" shows (Series 1 - as always, years and years behind any hype - but boy is it GREAT!).
The series underscores my feelings about the career world. It's a harsh place, there are lots of brutal power-struggles (for the sake of power in itself), and there are a lot of big fish and little fish, swimming in the water.
Always being years and years late on any hype (I take a long time to befriend issues, and to gather really deep, sincere interest in them - just as is the case with friendships), I'm usually years and years - if not decades - behind on any new career issue. With this I mean a theme or sector. In 2001, I listened in on a PhD seminar, where there was a presentation about HIV/AIDS in international politics. I found it so hugely exotic in that field at the time - and working on it myself the last few years, realize just how passé most of the world finds it. My blog and ideas around this topic (women and work) have led me to realize just how many thousands, tens of thousands, millions?, of initiatives there are for women and work. Of course I know it's been an issue in the making for centuries, but to realize just how much expertise, great initiatives, great thinking there is on the topic is - humbling.
The more the know the more you realize the less you know? That seems to be the lesson I'm learning, moving from having been quite a "generalist" for several work years to trying to "specialize" in issues that interest me. The more I dig, the more I realize has already been dug. I wouldn't make a good entrepreneur or discoverer.
But, to try to be optimistic, it's often not about changing a system, or causing a revolution - but about making tiny, little improvements. It's about finding that one little slot where you fit in, where you know which bolt to turn, and things may change, and you may have been useful.
I found a postcard (my absolute weakness in life, together with coffee, Viennese Sacher-cake, and good books) that says "Wait here until you are useful". I have added it to my postcard collection (best-ofs) on my door. I'm still waiting. Swimming with the tiny fish. Waiting. Waiting. And hopefully one day finding what I'm looking for.
The great thing about lying in bed for four days is that, after having slept through 72 hours, I had a day of resting yesterday - and caught up on a few "House of Cards" shows (Series 1 - as always, years and years behind any hype - but boy is it GREAT!).
The series underscores my feelings about the career world. It's a harsh place, there are lots of brutal power-struggles (for the sake of power in itself), and there are a lot of big fish and little fish, swimming in the water.
Always being years and years late on any hype (I take a long time to befriend issues, and to gather really deep, sincere interest in them - just as is the case with friendships), I'm usually years and years - if not decades - behind on any new career issue. With this I mean a theme or sector. In 2001, I listened in on a PhD seminar, where there was a presentation about HIV/AIDS in international politics. I found it so hugely exotic in that field at the time - and working on it myself the last few years, realize just how passé most of the world finds it. My blog and ideas around this topic (women and work) have led me to realize just how many thousands, tens of thousands, millions?, of initiatives there are for women and work. Of course I know it's been an issue in the making for centuries, but to realize just how much expertise, great initiatives, great thinking there is on the topic is - humbling.
The more the know the more you realize the less you know? That seems to be the lesson I'm learning, moving from having been quite a "generalist" for several work years to trying to "specialize" in issues that interest me. The more I dig, the more I realize has already been dug. I wouldn't make a good entrepreneur or discoverer.
But, to try to be optimistic, it's often not about changing a system, or causing a revolution - but about making tiny, little improvements. It's about finding that one little slot where you fit in, where you know which bolt to turn, and things may change, and you may have been useful.
I found a postcard (my absolute weakness in life, together with coffee, Viennese Sacher-cake, and good books) that says "Wait here until you are useful". I have added it to my postcard collection (best-ofs) on my door. I'm still waiting. Swimming with the tiny fish. Waiting. Waiting. And hopefully one day finding what I'm looking for.
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
Too Ill to Function
I've been stuck in bed for the past four days with my first flu ever. Yes, in 34 years. It's been yet another lesson in gratitude that this family runs well without me. Thanks mainly to my husband, who is running the household and kept the kids entertained all weekend - and cancelled his work trips for the week. And thanks to our babysitter, who has been available and helpful as always. Also thanks to our grandparents, who I know would travel over to help in any emergency, but thankfully we haven't had to ask. On the one hand, it's good to know that everything just keeps rolling. On the other, it makes me wonder why I find my own task-list never-ending, but once I don't do anything, no-one really notices. The world just keeps turning.
2014 has been a year of one illness after another. It has been very tough, and I really don't see how I would have been able to work more than on the little project I'm working on. Last year, when I quit my job, I didn't quit for family reasons, but for myself. This year, I think I wouldn't have been able to work due to family reasons - constantly ill kids, and now also myself. Maybe this was my punishment for thinking about myself, and only myself? And this is fate reminding me that my role is to be a mother - and perhaps without the possibility to be anything more at this point? (Note: Written when sick, tired and lousy-feeling).
2014 has been a year of one illness after another. It has been very tough, and I really don't see how I would have been able to work more than on the little project I'm working on. Last year, when I quit my job, I didn't quit for family reasons, but for myself. This year, I think I wouldn't have been able to work due to family reasons - constantly ill kids, and now also myself. Maybe this was my punishment for thinking about myself, and only myself? And this is fate reminding me that my role is to be a mother - and perhaps without the possibility to be anything more at this point? (Note: Written when sick, tired and lousy-feeling).
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