Pick your job as you would a partner

When I metmy husband, it was love at first (6-day) sight. We have been together (albeit at times not in the same country) for 16 years. In the first years, before we got engaged, married, had three kids and bought a flat, I asked myself every single day whether I want to be with this man, and answered yes. I'm currently - or for the past ten years - trying out the same strategy with a job. Is it love at first sight? Do I think i could be happy, and could the feeling be mutual? Am I able to see myself partnering with this "company" for most of my waking life for the next years? Is the love mutual? I'm with age becoming increasingly picky, and decreasingly desperate. I wont even start an "affair" if I can see it wont lead anywhere. I give a potential relationship a try, but if it's clear there is no future, I'm not staying just because I dont want to risk being alone. I've been so miraculously, tremendously lucky with my private life - I am a naive, romantic optimist: my true love job is out there somewhere. There to find, to find me (or maybe I just have to create it). Some"one" who values me for who I am, who gives as well as accepts to take, whose world is richer because we are together, and not going alone..... (giggle giggle, as a romantic teenager would - not an old, bitter cynic!)

December in the life of a mom of 3 - status 8 December

Packed 96 advent calendar bags (3 kids + husband's). Made German "Adventskranz". Baked Finnish gingerbread cookies. Stocked up at Ikea for wrapping paper and Swedish "Glögg". Filled 3 boots with chocolates for German "Nikolaus". Celebrated Finnish independence day. Baked for two parties of daughter's 6th birthday. Went to three brunches/coffee-cakes just today. Worked full-time. Pre-cooked meals for the week.

Coming up: preparing for actual Christmas....And loving this time of the year (except for the rainy and sleety weather!).

Feedback request - what next?

I need to start thinking out of the box a bit, or at least living out some of my out-of-box ideas. But moving from needing to doing is not my strength in the career world. So, hence a request. Please supply a few words, lines or paragraphs of ideas what I should do next, based on whatever criteria you choose, and either through comments or email. Or sms, telephone, or in person. I wander around in my own head enough, I'd appreciate some reflections. Every word appreciated, thanks!

Everyone not so nice nice

Before a really nice colleague of mine left her job a couple of months ago, she left a couple of albums on the shared drive for me to listen to. I am really old school with lots of things, and one is digital music - I mean the MP3 kind (I did and still do master CDs! Although I am generation tape and even LP!). One is Regina Spektor, whom I find really funny and nice to listen to. I was thinking of lyrics from her song just now (…everyone not so nice nice…or at least that's what I hear or remember, maybe she really sings something completely different - you know those amazingly funny subtitles to what people think are sung in songs, or when you read the real subtitles and realize you've heard something wrong for decades!).

So, the thing is, everyone is not so nice (nice) at the moment. My friends are lovely (thank you!!!), as is my family (thank you!!!), and that is what counts. But it's a bit like eating a lovely chocolate muffin, and then you bite into a rotten rat. Or you are dancing and twirling to lovely music barefoot, and stumble on glass splinters. Or you're strolling in your cotton summer dress down the street in the evening summer sun, and a car drives past and someone throws up all over your feet. Or you've spent a long evenings - months - of your private time contributing to making your company's work that tiny bit better, to be told one day when you are leaving that you didn't offer any value, that you took it too easy, that you didn't do your share.

That's the way life is. Everyone's not so nice nice, at least not all the time. The baker may have forgotten to close the door, and a rat slept in without notice (probably a tiny one, if it fits into a muffin!);  some happily tipsy couple broke their red wine bottle, and didn't bother sweeping up the pieces; someone simply gets ill; and someone simply gets annoyed.

I need to stop taking these things so personally. But what I can conclude with is that, during these slightly tiring times, it is amazing to realize how many incredible friends I have - and how I have even in this strange context made a few new friends. Even in the worst times, there is light. (And I know, these are mildly challenging times - nothing even close to catastrophe or suffering - I have that much perspective!). But the light still shines very bright, and I am very, immensely grateful.

The Need to Share - less is more? From Generation Overshare.

I've always been quite an open person. I'm a bit of an open book - you see what you get. If I have something to say, I usually say it. If I'm angry, it shows. Diplomacy, tact and patience are not assets I have. I try to be more careful than I have been in the past - a lot gets used against you when you're an open person. But it takes a lot of effort, to stop sharing what I think, see or feel. I'm definitely part of "generation overshare". My poor friends will agree - especially those who used to get a letter or page-long email a day (I know many just didn't read through, just is as the case with this blog). At work I'm aware I tend to spam, because I see relevance and something interesting in so many things. I overshare on facebook and twitter. But is less more? Perhaps. I could spend a week, editing a blog entry before I post. I could post my facebook updates on the basis of how many people will find it cool or cute and likeable. I could tweet on the condition I think a tweet will get 78 retweets. But would that be me? Would that make me feel happy, knowing that just one person would have enjoyed one of the random messages I could have sent, but didn't; found something interesting, comforting, or just plain silly in it? Would I feel good, having thoughts, feelings, information just locked up in my own head? No. But do I care about reactions? Of course I do. Nothing hurts as much as writing to a friend several times, and never getting a reply. Sharing important information at work, and simply being ignored. I take it as a hint: less is more. But actually, less is simply less - friends can ignore a two-liner each year just as well, colleagues that key rare insight. Hence I'll just keep sharing. The need to share is greater than the solution to whether to do more or less of it.