Routines Gone Wrong

A friend of mine a few days ago told me about some horror evenings trying to put her 2-year old son to sleep. She's a single mom, so I have double sympathy when someone doesn't have any own time left in the evening due to children. A familiar story: the son had gotten used to falling asleep in his mom's bed, with his mom lying next to him. And now he needed her to hug him. After three hours of trying, she just gave up, and they ended up watching soccer together. I have heard similar stories from other friends.

We thankfully have a very rigorous and successful evening routine, so on nearly all nights, all kids are in bed and asleep at 8 pm. But we have other routines gone seriously wrong, such as the following:

In the mornings, the girls need to leave the house at around 8.30 am to get to kindergarden on time. My husband needs to get to work. As all kids get up very early, we're not pressed for time. This is part of the problem, as there's too much "play time", and getting ready to go somehow gets lost in this. I expect the girls to dress themselves, brush their hair and teeth, and make their beds. They can do - and do all of this. However, our "routine" has gone seriously wrong in that there's no clear schedule or timeline for the girls to get these things done, which means that I am constantly reminding them to get their tasks done.

There's a point with every routine gone wrong where it doesn't feel good for any one, and doesn't make sense. That's the point to decide - together - on new rules, so that there's more harmony and everyone knows what is expected of them. Time to try something different.

I wish breaking my "own" routines gone wrong would feel as clear and easy.