Germany's Family Policy Mess

To mark the beginning of childcare for all of my three kids (the youngest will still be settling in for a few weeks), I restarted a newspaper subscription (Sueddeutsche, my favorite national daily). There was a great editorial piece on Germany's lost family policy chances. A few months ago, I wrote about a new subsidy for children that provides an incentive for women not to return to work. Despite a lot of criticism to this subsidy, and the highest number of female ministers in core cabinet positions for family policy (family, work, social, chancellor), Germany is moving backwards in its policy on providing opportunities for women with children to work. A disincentive to work is not an opportunity to make a choice. It is a restriction of a basic freedom that I expect from any developed country.

Another Step Towards Freedom

I have never before kept the kids home for the full summer break. Seven weeks later, I have survived. Three weeks of this I had my husband to help, which felt like holiday bliss. The rest has been hard - but also rewarding - work. I have been less stressed, less snappy, and less exhausted thanks to the more flexible schedule - and some brilliant warm, sunny days. My sister, who is visiting and doesn't yet have kids, asked me around ten times today how I manage with the three small kids. It is pretty crazy. But tomorrow is yet another step towards freedom for me, as my girls return to care (first grade and preschool respectively, a big step!) and my youngest finally starts at kindergarden. I must underline the luxury of the logistics involved, as all of this is housed in one building, literally across the street from us (I can see the school entrance from our balcony). A few hours of freedom from the kids. The question of freedom to what is still open. At the least to read a newspaper at a corner cafe for a start.

Good Night Sweetheart(s)

I have fond memories of singing this song with two dear friends, but also relive this phrase in practice every evening. Three small kids (6, 4, 1.5) don't go to bed alone. I am lucky in that most nights, my husband is here, and we alternate our task: one brings  the older girls to bed, the other our youngest. He still sleeps in our room in a crib, the girls share a room. After everyone has adjusted to starting school and kindergarden, I have prepared the rooms so that the youngest two can share a room, and our first grader gets her own room (as do us parents again). But even then, our 6 year old needs us to dictate her evening routines, and our youngest needs us to carry them out for him. It gets easier every year, but I'm looking forward to the day when "good night sweethearts" is just saying that, and off they go...

My Blueberry Night(s)

A cute film by Wong Kar Wai with Norah Jones, Jude Law and Nathalie Portman. But tonight in real with blueberries picked by my daughters in Finland, hand delivered by my dad this morning, baked by my girls together with their granddad, eaten by all of us, including my sister, who just arrived in Berlin for a visit. Unique but tradition-filled Blueberry moments, as my dad again leaves tomorrow, my sister soon thereafter, and we no longer have real blueberries - until next summer. Autumn starts this week for us; a beautiful, revitalizing and important summer comes to an end. Gratitude.

Ideal Moment - In Practice, At Present

I, like a lot of people, find it difficult to live in the here and now. There are always plans, wishes, hopes for the future. It is too easy to see what is lacking now... Kids are a mixed blessing, as on the one hand, they help you focus on the current moment (that angellic giggle), but also make you wish time would fly (that beautiful moment when they are all asleep). Here is an ode to this current moment: My youngest is napping, the rest of the family on an outing. I have a panorama view of a beautiful lake (Brandenburg's, German's state around Berlin, largest - the Scharmützelsee). I just finished Herta Müller's Atemschaukel (she won the nobel prize two or so years back, this is the second of her books that I read, both were about oppression of the German-speaking minority in Roumania, heavy but very poetic). I am tuned into classic radio. Peace (around and of mind) and a great deal of gratitude for this moment, here and now.