6 Years of Motherhood

My eldest today turned 6. It feels like a surreal time - only, or already? I feel like she's been around forever, but on the other hand she's still - only 6. I unfortunately missed most of the festivities, as my system didnt deal well with some medicine I was prescribed last week. Plain noodles for dinner, after everyone feasted on chocolate cake and grilled meats. Now I just need to sleep.

Ideal Moments

What is your picture of ideal? A scene that you are a part of, perhaps involving a specific location, people, sounds, or tastes? Close your eyes and take a bief moment to visualize this moment... I do this a lot at this time of the year, the reason being that at around mid-summer, one of my favorite scenes takes place - but I am not in reality a part of it. The Scandinavians among you will know it: a simple summer cottage in the middle of nowhere, with the next neighbours out of sight. An earthen path, criss-crossed by tree roots, big slabs of rocks and small pebbles, leading to a sauna building on a lake, with a wooden pier and a simple ladder at its end. Grilled sausages, a cold beer bottle, and sitting on a sauna porch after the sauna and a dip in the cold lake, wrapped up in a towel. Around the lake, large bonfires being lit as it slowly gets slightly darker - but it does not get dark. I wish I could share this moment with some of my friends. Here's a picture in words instead (for now).

Goo Goo Gaa Gaa

One of the toughest aspects about being a stay-at-home mom, in my view, is not only that one is rarely intellectually active, but that one's daily discussions may be on the level of "goo goo gaa gaa". On some days, I simply run errands and spend time with my youngest, then pick up the girls, and that's about it. If my husband is still in working mode once the kids are in bed, this means that my conversation with adults may include brief exchanges with the baker, some random parent at the park, and my kids - most of the time being with my youngest, who does not speak in sentences yet. When the input to my ears is at the level of "banana" (16 months), a short story about a playground slide (4 year old) and on the newest favorite friend (nearly 6 year old), and my own output includes a lot of "no, do not throw the water on the table" (16 month), "dont forget to wash your hands" (4 years) and "yes, you can go up to play with the neighbour" (6 years) - honestly, it gets a bit mind-numbing. I wouldn't want to miss the stories my kids tell me, nor all the new words my youngest learns every day. But - a bit of a healthy balance would not hurt...

Is the Grass Greener and Value for Money

We have two big projects at the moment (aside from three projects between the ages 16 months and 6 years next Sunday): schools and houses. Before we started expecting our third child, we bought a flat in the centre of Berlin. A perfectly nice flat, with a nice bilingual school across the street. Last spring, we moved and last fall, our girls started at the kindergarden of this school. But, as life goes, things didnt quite go as expected. Suddenly there were 5 of us. The flat will be too small in a few years, when the kids are bigger. A new building was constucted to obstruct our previously nice view. And worst of all, our school decided to raise their prices (rather radically), and it looks like they will keep increasing them in the years to come. We love our area, but as the schools here (public and private) are completely oversubsribed, and as flat prices are rising 16 percent per year, we're considering another move. Hence we are joining the rat race again: where to find an affordable place to live, with a good school nearby? Without school-aged kids, no such worries. With kids, the equation called life starts to include a high number of variables. It's important, I find, to stick to the essentials, so here is my equation: Well-being of family as a whole = proximity of school/work/friends/playdates + affordability + proximity of at least five great cafes ;)

Monster Jobs

When looking for a job, never look on Monster (unless you are a software developer or engineer). This has been my rule for a decade. I break it every time I'm looking for a job, and the result is depressing.

Before having kids, the conclusion was always that I should have done what my father recommended I do: become an engineer.

After having kids, the conclusion is that I need to become a student again, because any part-time job is a "student job" or "internship" (i.e. miserably paid, if at all, and usually completely uninteresting).

A friend of mine just recommended I apply for jobs that interest me, no matter where they are located and what the conditions are. The benefit is that I may be able to negotiate some kind of Berlin-based consultancy if they accept me, that I could travel to cities I have friends in, and network. I guess this is a much more constructive idea than looking through Berlin-based organizations (which have zero on offer at the moment, and I have done), or having my optimism eaten up by Monster...

I welcome any other ideas!