The Terrible Ones

Any parent knows that the "terrible twos" is a comforting illusion. (For those not aware of this term, think screaming brat lying on the supermarket floor, and imagine this scene around a dozen times a day on average.) The reality, as everyone knows is that the twos also lasts into the threes. More tears, snot, and battle of the wills ("No, you will not sit at the table after deliberately throwing the noodles with tomato sauce across the table, for the sixth time!") Some lucky parents do not experience these phases. Others let their kids wrap them around their fingers in order to avoid them. The rest of us grit their teeth, raise their voices, wipe snot and tears, think of the neighbours listening to the screaming, and keep up the battle. Our kids have started with their terribles at around the age of 1.5 years. My youngest is full into the phase. He's 16 months old, and early with every development. Testing, testing, testing (what our rules are, but mainly testing for my nerves...). Terrible as it is, I think we see the rewards with our older girls (4.5 and nearly 6 years). They sure test a lot, but they also know what a no from us means. Between our youngest's end of terribles and the start of our eldest's teeny years, we will hopefully experience a few years of harmony...?

Mentors and Alpha Mentees

I was at yet another university reunion a short while back. The outgoing chairman of the board, a pretty unpleasant alpha animal, held a long speech, one aspect of which struck me as important: mentors are hugely important to career advancement. Someone "up there" (unfortunately not in the religous sense) needs to believe in you, and open doors to you higher up in the hierarchy that you can otherwise keep knocking on until you retire. A mentor can also ensure that you can pursue relevant and increasingly important tasks, help expand your network, and be a role model in many senses. To go back to one aspect in my last post, I think a mentor can play a huge role in sustaining a long learning curve and motivation in one's work. The big question is, of course, how to find a mentor? This person needs to be sufficiently high up in the ranks or well connected to be able to help and be an example. And they need to believe in you. And how will someone believe in you? If you honestly believe in yourself - something very alpha and hence not that natural to us women...but essential.

Job Specialization = Job Boredom?

Economists, management theorists and those who follow globalization debates are familiar with the term "division of labor". The idea behind the concept is that the economy as a whole greatly benefits when people/groups/countries specialize in what they are productive in - and then trade goods and services.

I have in the past days been giving a lot of thought to this concept, and to whether I like it. We've all heard of the frustrated surgeon, who performs the same operation ten times a day, day after day, year after year. Specialization may be beneficial for the economy, customers, and patients, as the quality of goods and services improves - but what happens to the provider?

The optimistic view is that the provider constantly improves his services, in order to keep a competitive edge. Or he manages to re-train or morph into doing something different. This makes sense for companies or countries. Think of the Finnish firm Nokia, starting out with wellingtons, and becoming a successful mobile handset producer - and now struggling for its survival because it did not adapt to new competitors fast enough. Or think of countries which are scolded for relying on "old fashioned" industry, when they should be moving into more productive service provision.

But what about individuals? On the one hand, we are encouraged to specialize through our education and careers, become the "indispensable" expert in X, Y, or Z. On the other, we are expected to adapt to circumstances, when X is suddenly no longer needed. For every new job, we rummage through our CVs to find the "specialization" that we can use to prove our fit.

What I am most interested in is what specialization does to motivation. What if, such as is my case, one has many very diverse interests and, on top of that, quickly bores of one subject matter or task? Here the learning curve and resulting motivation are key.

A lot more to think about and explore on this matter.

I Love My Job!

I have occasionally but rarely proclaimed that i love my job. I think the only job I really loved so far was at the Bank, but that as well only for the first few months, before personnel changes made me wish I could go back in time. Yestreday, I talked to a mom of two and what she said seems to reflect the situation of most working moms I know (including myself): we muddle through. The woman I talked to had taken a new job after her second child was born, just to get her foot into the job market again. Four years later, she has decided she has muddled through enough in something she does not enjoy, and is hoping to figure out what would be interesting but also compatible with taking care of the kids (her husband works long hours). Sounds familiar. I guess my new "strategy" on this is to first find an interesting job, get accepted, and then start worrying about how to deal with the logistics with kids. Approaching it the other way around, which I had been doing during the past months, makes things seem impossible. I'm not much further in the process in practice, but this change in mindframe has been a huge difference to my wellbeing. There is hope.

Working Mom - the movie

So, dear working moms who recommended I watch the movie Working Mom (with Sarah Jessica Parker). It was h-o-r-r-i-b-l-e. But oh-so-true.